I hurry out of the room, knowing Kelsey will take care of her. Kelsey will do anything she needs, and she’s certainly more equipped than I am. I don’t know the first fucking thing about taking care of a baby. I don’t have any parental instincts. I fucking kill people for a living.
I burst out the front door, barreling into Snapper, who scowls at me and shoves me away.
Fuck, I forgot they were here.
Tommy holds out his pack of cigarettes to me. I take one, and say, “I thought you quit.”
“Something told me to pick up a pack.”
I shouldn’t be smoking, not now that there is a baby here, but it’s just one and I’ll wash my hands twice. No, five times. I’ll change my clothes too. And so will all these guys if they are going to go in there to be next to her.
Fucking hell.
Her.
A little girl. She’s going to grow up and look just like her mama and be the most beautiful thing in the world. I already want to kill all the boys. Every last one of them.
“Are you okay?” Lucian asks.
“No,” I say seriously.
He laughs.
“You will be,” he assures me. “Just breathe. I know it’s a lot.”
“It’s more than a lot. That was… intense.”
Snapper nods absently, staring out at the driveway and taking the last drag of his cigarette before clipping the head off with his nail and shoving the butt into his pocket. So considerate, yet such a fucking prick.
“I don’t know how I’m going to do this,” I admit.
“You’re going to be fine,” Tommy says.
I look at him, suddenly filled with emotion. I want to apologize. I want to tell him how sorry I am that he doesn’t have this. But I swear he gives me the smallest shake of his head and puts on a smile.
“I am fucking happy for you, little bro. Don’t ever think otherwise.”
Fuck, I love my brother.
I take a deep breath, then inhale half the cigarette. It’s helping with my nerves, but barely.
“What do we do now?” I ask.
“Well, the baby should be checked out by a pediatrician. I did what I could, but I only have so much equipment.”
“The doctor in town is good,” Snapper says. “She can take the baby there. I’ll pay him a visit on the way home, just so he knows what’s going on.”
“Thanks, man.” I turn to Lucian. “And thank you. Without you… Fuck, you’ve helped her through this whole thing, and there is no way I would have survived this without you. I don’t even know if the b—” My throat gets tight, and I can’t even finish the sentence.
When she came out, she wasn’t crying. I don’t think she was breathing. I wasn’t breathing. In fact, I don’t think anyone in that room was. Then Lucian did something to her, worked some fucking magic, and I’ve never heard something that gave me so much relief in all my life. I’m sure moving forward, that cry willbe the bane of my existence, but today? I am so thankful I heard it.
And let’s be serious, I’ll be happy to hear it for months to come because that means Anastacia is still with me, and that the baby is healthy and alive.
Lucian and Snapper leave. Tommy and I have another cigarette, and when we go inside, I threaten to chop his dick off if he doesn’t scrub every part of his body and change his clothes before going to see the baby. He laughs, but he does it.
Chapter Twenty
Anastacia
