Taking my phone out of my pocket, I flick my gaze down at the screen before I shift it back up to the window. The person is gone now, so I use the moment to take in the area around me. The street is empty, there aren’t any new cars, and everything is as it was the last time I scanned it.
Sliding my thumb across the screen, I bring it to my ear. I don’t even get the chance to greet the person on the other end of the line before I hear him begin talking.
“I’m not going to say that you made a mistake?—”
“But I made a mistake?” I ask, interrupting him.
Maverick hums but doesn’t respond immediately.
He’s looking out for me. I love that, but at the same time, I don’t think I want to hear it, because he’s wrong. The only mistake that was made was that I walked away when I should have fought for her. That’s something I’ll be forced to live with my whole goddamn life.
I’m the one who fucked up by being a weak goddamn coward.
“Ivy can fuck himself,” I state.
Maverick chuckles. “Goose,” he murmurs.
“I had her place under surveillance. I met with Lorenzo. I wasn’t even gone a week, and Cidney gets attacked. This is one hundred percent his fault. He should feel that guilt. He should fucking bathe in it, because it’s on him.”
“He couldn’t have known,” Maverick says, forever trying to be the voice of reason.
Unfortunately, I am not the person who wants to hear the voice of reason. I tried to follow the rules of the club, and it’s always been easy. I’ve enjoyed the fact that I know where I stand with everyone and that I know what is expected and what to expect in return. But this shit? I do not like it, and I followed the rules, which just made things worse, so fucking bad that it almost got my woman killed.
“Maybe not, but he should have anticipated it. I hold him responsible, just like he would if the tables were turned.”
A moment of silence passes between us, and then I hear him clear his throat before he exhales a heavy sigh.
“I don’t know what to say to you, Trent. I’m afraid if you go at Ivy too hard, you’re going to end up with a much bigger issue on your hands.”
I know what he’s warning me about, and if the tables were turned, I would feel the exact same way, and I would pose the same questions. But the tables aren’t turned. He’s living the absolute dream, and I am happy for him, but I want my dream, too.
Every fucking ounce of it.
And right now, Ivy is the reason I don’t already have it.
So enough is enough, and I’m done asking permission. Ivy can fuck right the fuck off if he has a problem with it.
At that thought, something hatches. A thought, an idea. I don’t know if Cidney would be cool with it, but I’m going to try. Because I can’t walk away from her again. I will not.
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
GOOSE
Liftingthe towel to the back of my neck, I wipe the sweat away. Turning my head, I watch as he makes his way toward me. I don’t know what he’s going to say, but I watch him, waiting. He’s going to be the one who speaks first.
Crossing my arms over my chest, I dip my chin slightly and look down into his eyes. I stare at him, waiting for the reason he’s approached me to be voiced. He’s got something on his mind. He has to.
He’s gone out of his way to find me, though it’s not like I’m hard to locate. If I’m not in my room, at Laney’s apartment keeping an eye on Cidney from afar, I’m in the gym. I wait for him to speak. His gaze is focused, his stare unwavering as he watches me.
“I get you’re pissed. I get you think it’s my fault. If you think I’m not shouldering that guilt myself, you’re damn wrong.”
I could give him an out on that, tell him that I don’t blame him, that I was just mad and spoke out of anger. That was true. I wasn’t just mad, though. I was and am pissed the fuck off. Ididn’t speak out of anger. I spoke out of betrayed truth. And I will not take it back or admit any kind of fault.
“What’s your point?” I demand.
His brows shoot up in surprise, then he snaps them together. I can tell he doesn’t believe I’ve said what I have. I would be shocked, too, if I weren’t so fucking pissed off at him and the situation he created.
“I don’t want this life for Cidney.”
