She smiles softly. I can see the pity or care, or whatever you want to call it, in her eyes. “I consider you being alone when you’re here all day while I work. I don’t want that. I don’t like it.”
I almost laugh, because all I can think about is whether I’m alone or not all day, every day. Dipping my spoon into my bowl of yogurt, I lift it to my mouth then slip it between my lips as I think about being alone. She’ll know I’m a liar if I say that I’ll be fine. And I can’t ask her to stay with me. She has a business to run.
“I’m going to call Posey,” she states. “I know you have whatever going on, but she’s family, Cidney.”
I almost laugh, but I know it would hurt if I tried, so I don’t. Instead, I give her a slight smile. “I’m okay with Posey,” I say. “It’s Justin I’m upset with.”
“Because he wouldn’t let Goose claim you,” she says. It’s a statement because she already knows the answer. She is right too, yet she’s wrong at the same time.
“It wasn’t all about that. I’m mad that he announced I was off-limits and that, somehow, he’s in charge of who I can love and who can love me. He didn’t even ask me if I wanted to be with Goose. If Trent was the man I loved. He just announced it to the whole Vicious Reapers that it wasn’t going to happen.”
“And you love Trent.”
“Yeah, I do. I fell in love. It was hard and fast, but it was mine. All I wanted was the chance to allow our relationship todevelop. But Justin won’t even let me date him, and he doesn’t care how I feel about that.”
“I’m pretty sure my brother would be the same way. There’s something about their stubborn pride that makes them blind to the people around them.”
“Pisses me off,” I say through gritted teeth.
Lainey’s smile is soft and small, almost hidden. Not a pitying smile, more like an understanding one. She may not want anything to do with the men at the clubhouse, and I would have said the same thing a month ago, but she knows where I’m coming from.
“Why do they think they know more than we do? As if them having a dick makes them an expert on our love lives.”
I can’t hold in the laughter. It bubbles from inside me, and then I moan as I hold my ribs and try to calm myself. Lainey lets out a snort. She’s clearly just as annoyed with my situation as I am with Justin.
“I don’t know, Lainey, but you’re right. They seriously think they know everything. It’s really obnoxious.”
“It must be part of their badass motorcycle club training or something. Us little women don’t know how to make any kind of decisions. They must do it all for us, since they’re so big and macho.”
God, she is not wrong. Between Justin and my uncle, it’s always been that way. Although I’ve seen Posey and my aunt give them each thewhat-fora time or two. But that doesn’t mean they both don’t think they’re the biggest, baddest, smartest men to ever exist. Just thinking about it makes me want to roll my eyes to the ceiling.
“He went about it wrong, but he cares for you,” Lainey says, taking me out of my thoughts. “Ivy wouldn’t care who you were with if he didn’t love you.”
I want to say if he loved me, he’d ask me what makes me happy. But I decide not to. I don’t need to argue with Lainey about any of that. She knows exactly what it feels like to have someone make decisions and choices for you.
“Maybe, but part of me also feels as if he said no because he doesn’t want me with anyone. Because there’s nobody in town I would date, and obviously, dating out in Raleigh doesn’t work. I don’t know what he’s expecting from me.”
Lainey reaches out and takes my hand in hers. I feel her fingers flex as her gaze focuses on mine. “He’s stupid,” she says.
The words come out, and her tone is so serious that it surprises me and then makes me giggle, which causes me to groan in pain again. “He is stupid,” I agree. “They all are.”
“Damn straight,” she snaps.
A few moments later, Posey has been called, and she’s on her way over. Lainey goes to her room to take a shower. I’m left alone for a few moments. After pouring myself a third cup of coffee, I walk over to the window and look out at the mountains. Lainey has an amazing view.
But I’m not taking in her view of the mountains. My focus is elsewhere. My attention is on the man standing across the street. His head is tipped backward, and I almost feel as if he’s looking directly at me. He can’t see my face from where he is, but it feels like he does.
GOOSE
Tilting my head backward, I look up at the window of Lainey’s apartment. There is a person standing in the window, but I can’t see who it is. It could be Lainey, but I don’t think it is. I’m pretty sure it’s Cidney, and I’m certain she’s looking right at me.
I wish I could be up there with her, that I could remind her how safe she is. I want to wrap my arms around her, hold her while she heals.
And I want to take care of her.
I want her to know just how fucking sorry I am for what happened to her and assure her that not only will it never happen again, but the fucker who did this is never going to breathe easy again. Because I plan on making it painful for him to live. And honestly, I don’t plan on him living for much longer.
Lorenzo may want us to keep him alive, but fuck that. He didn’t give a shit about Lightning or Cidney’s lives, so why the fuck should I give a shit about his? The short answer is that I don’t. The long answer is that Ifuckingdon’t.
