“It’s about the divorce from the law firm, can you read it? I don’t have it in me right now.”
Jonathan’s eyes scanned the email. “You got the car; it’s being delivered to Mum and Dad’s today.” He smiled at me. My phone buzzed again, and his face dropped. “It’s Max, I didn’t read it, it just popped up.”
He handed me back my phone, sat in the recliner next to me, and started eating his salad. I set my food aside, feeling sick. As I opened Max’s message another came through from him.
M: Happy divorce.
M: I want you back.
Then another.
M: I miss you.
I rolled my eyes. “Asshole,” I muttered and placed my phone on the side.
“So, I was talking to Morgan before this, and he said you two were talking about getting back together. Is that still happening?” Jonathan asked, handing me back my salad.
“I don’t know, Jon. I don’t think so.”
I opened the salad box just so I didn’t have to look at my brother, but as soon as the smell hit my nose, my stomach let me know that it was hungry. I ate small mouthfuls.
“How come? Pease don’t tell me you’re thinking about getting back with that twat Max?”
“No, fuck no,” I scoffed.
“That’s good, because I may have had to lock you in the house if you were thinking of that.” He grinned. “So, why not Morgan? I can see how much you love him; everyone can but you.”
“I do love him. He loves me so much, I can see it every time he looks at me, in his anger and pain. He has given everything tome and more, and all I’ve given him is pain, I’m just as bad as his ex, Jon. I don’t deserve someone like him.”
“That’s bullshit. You’re pushing him away. You deserve love just as much as anyone. You say you don’t want to hurt him anymore, then don’t. Let him in, commit to him. You both deserve it, but he doesn’t deserve for you to not even give him a chance.”
I listened to him but wasn’t sure I believed him. Wasn’t keeping Morgan away saving him from more pain? I continued eating.
“I can see you thinking. Please, for everyone else’s sake, let Morgan in. You need each other. Don’t give me all that you’re not good for him—that’s for him to decide, not you. Tell me you don’t want him, that you will stop loving him, and I’ll shut up.”
“I do love him,” I replied, sitting up on the recliner.
My mind raced, when had I fallen in love with him? How had I not realised how deep my feelings for him were?
“Say it again and use his name.” My brother grinned.
“I love Morgan,” I said, and it hit my square in the chest. I did love him; I had done for a long time. “I do. I do love Morgan. Thanks, Jon.”
“Anytime.” He smiled and lay back on the recliner.
But what if love isn’t enough?
The day had come when I was finally able to fly home. I didn’t feel up to it, but I needed to see Morgan. Kate told me he’d been released that morning, and they’d had taken home, but I needed to see him with my own eyes.
The flight, though it was a short one I’d done many times, seemed to take ten times longer this time. I wanted to go toMorgan’s straight away, but Jonathan had convinced me that both Morgan and I needed sleep, and so we told our driver to take me home.
Jonathan got me settled in bed. “Now, you have your phone and a bottle of water. Do you need anything else?”
He made sure I was tucked in tight. I hadn’t had someone tuck me in like that since I was a child, but I fought back the giggle. He had been so worried about me.
“No, I’m okay. Thanks for being there for me, and thanks for passing off Mum and Dad. I don’t think I could handle them right now.” I smiled up at him.
He’d called them to let them know what had happened and they had wanted to get on the first flight out of L.A to the UK, but Jonathan told them he wouldn’t leave my side, and that I needed rest. So, they had conceded to stay where they were.
