“Yeah, just packing up for the day. You have a good time in the city?” I placed the tools at my feet. It wasn’t lost on me that she was still wearing the same clothes as the day before.
“Yeah, it was good.” She smiled.
“I didn’t know you were staying for the night. I had a right shock when Jonathan answered the door instead of you.” I tried to smile but I didn’t think I got it quite right.
“Yeah, sorry about that. It wasn’t planned. We had so much fun and too much to drink and decided to stay for the night.” Shesmiled back at me but looked down and closed her eyes for a few moments.
“We?”Fuck, please let it be with the girls. I didn’t know how I would handle it if she was with someone else.
“Yeah, me and mmm,” she mumbled and started walking away quickly.
“You and who?”
I knew I had no right to be asking her, but if I didn’t then it would just play on my mind all night. I followed her through to the living area where she sat down on her cream-coloured cuddle chair.
“Me and Ben, but?—”
I felt like my legs were going to give out, she was with someone else. “Ben?” I croaked. “you stayed the night with another guy?” I felt the tears build up and warmth flood through me as anger boiled up and over.
“Yes, but not like what you’re thinking.” She stood up and reached out her hand, but I stepped away.
“Yeah, then how did it go?” I demanded as I folded my arms across my body.
“Look, Morgan, we”—she gestured between the two of us—“are over. You didn’t want what I had to offer?—”
“Because you didn’t offer anything!” I exploded, cutting her off.
“I don’t have to explain anything to you, not anymore. Please leave.” She shook her head slowly and sounded tired.
I wanted to argue more, but she was right. What little she had offered had not been enough for me and I had walked away from our agreement. If she had found someone else who was happy with just being a fuck buddy, then I had no say in it.
I got into my car and hit the steering wheel a few times. She had someone else, and it was all my fault.
CHAPTER 23
ANDIE
“Fuck me, well that went well.”
My hands shook as the door slammed behind him. I had hoped that he would have left before I got home, but I was quite pleased to see him. It wasn’t lost on me how good he looked in his light grey joggers and navy hoodie. I knew that I shouldn’t have mentioned Ben, but I also didn’t want to lie to him.
Ben was just a work supplier who had taken me out for a meal and to a rugby match. We’d had lots of fun and way too much alcohol—him, not me. I’d been off alcohol since that night I had hit Cindy, even the smell of it now made me feel sick.
We had both decided it was too far to travel home, and that we should just treat ourselves to a nice hotel in the city. I hadn’t had sex with him, though he had offered it. Not that he wasn’t a good-looking man, he was, but I felt guilty about Morgan. I couldn’t explain it, but the thought of sleeping with someone else had me wracked with guilt.
I had missed Morgan a lot since we broke up. I didn’t realise how much I’d come to rely on his ‘good morning’ and ‘good night’ texts and had found myself checking my phone to see if he had messaged, but of course he hadn’t.
I thought he’d moved on, but the way he said my name the previous day, and how angry he got when I mentioned Ben showed me that he still cared about me. Part of me wanted to text him, to get him back here and fuck all the sadness, hurt, and anger out of both of us. But that would have been counterproductive.
I still didn’t want a relationship… did I? I wasn’t so sure anymore. A relationship was sounding better and better, someone to come home to, and ask how my days had been. Someone to love me as I loved them—no, not someone, Morgan, but I had already ruined my chance with him. I had hurt him, and I didn’t deserve someone like him.
I didn’t bother with dinner that night. I text the girls I was home, showered, and went to bed.
Morgan was at my house earlier than usual the following morning. He looked good in tight black jeans and a grey jumper.
“About yesterday-” I started, and he cut me off.
“Don’t worry about it. You’ve moved on. That’s good.” His voice caught and he tried to move past me.
