“Andie, I really do love you, you know? It was only one kiss, she kissed me, and I pushed her away. I was stupid. I can see why you don’t want to be with me.” His jaw trembled before he clenched it tightly, his eyes cloudy.
“Look, we both did things last night we’re not proud of. That’s not why I don’t want to be with you. I’m going through a divorce, which isn’t final yet. I’ve never had any alone time, I’ve always bounced from one relationship to another. I need time to figure out what I want from life.” I placed my hand on his face and rubbed the tears from his cheek with my thumb.
“I never wanted to hurt you. I hate myself for starting this to begin with. I should have stuck with my initial reaction instead of letting my hormones overtake me. I’m sorry for that and hope that one day we can be friends again.” I leaned forward and kissed his forehead and left the room. Stumbling over my feet, unable to see clearly through the tears.
CHAPTER 22
MORGAN
Though it had only been sex for her, it was so much more for me. I missed her texts, her smile when she saw me, her hand on my leg when we sat in the booth at the club, and I missed the sex.
For the two months after our breakup, whenever I hadn’t had Charlie, I’d been out with the boys, drinking until late, getting up early for work, spending time with my son, then repeat. She hadn’t been around when Dad and I had been finishing up working on the bar; Jonathan had been letting us in. I had hoped to get a glimpse of her, but nothing. When I turned up at her house on the first day to work on her library it was so awkward, I didn’t know what I was going to say to her.
“Hey, come in.” She stepped back for me to move past her.
I inhaled her sweet perfume; it reminded me of the Parma Violet sweets. I looked her up and down; she was wearing a black suit with a hot pink shirt and matching pink heels. She looked good and my chest hurt.
“How have you been?” I asked moving past her, then turning to her as she closed the door.
I didn’t realise just how close we were until she turned back to me. If I dipped my head, I could have kissed her. I thinkshe realised it too, because she looked up at me with wide eyes, biting that damn lip again.
“I, uh, it’s been okay. You?”
She was sandwiched between me and the door, and I wanted to wrap my arms around her and kiss her. When she looked down and wrapped her arms around her body, I knew that would have been the wrong move.
“Yeah, busy with Charlie and work, you know.” I stepped back and to the side to allow her to pass.
“Yeah. I’ll show you to the room.” She breezed past me and up the hallway, leaving her sweet perfume trailing behind her.
“Fuck me,” I said under my breath as I followed her.
The room she had picked for the library was perfect, just the right amount of space and plenty of natural light.
“You know where the bathroom and kitchen are. Help yourself to anything you want. I have to go out.” She moved to the far end of the room to open the window and began moving back towards me.
“Anything I want, right?” I leant against the wall and folded my arms over my chest and felt a satisfied pull in my chest when I saw her steps falter at my words.
But she recovered quickly, clearing her throat, and smiling tightly at me. “Of course. Thanks for this, Morgan.” She placed a hand on my forearm and squeezed it.
I met her gaze, and my heart lurched. Her eyes were glassy, and I knew she was still hurting. “Andie,” I said softly and made a move to hold her.
“No, uh, I have a meeting to get to in the city. See you later.” She swallowed hard and quickly moved out of the room, pulling the door closed behind her.
“Fuck,” I shouted, punching the door, before leaning my head up against it to calm myself.
I still wanted her; my feelings hadn’t changed. It would be so fucking hard working that close to her and not being able to touch her. As soon as I had calmed myself down enough, I got to work.
The day flew by as I put everything I had into work. I hadn’t eaten lunch. By the time I had finished for the day, Andie still hadn’t returned home. I went home and had Charlie for the rest of the evening, but I was looking forward to seeing Andie in the morning.
When I knocked the following day, it wasn’t Andie that opened the door, but her brother Jonathan. “Hey, Andie said to let you in. She’s stayed in the city.”
“Oh, okay.” I followed him to the library room, and he went back to his side.
As I worked, I kept thinking why had she stayed in the city? Was she with someone else? The thought made me angry. Though most things had been making me mad, I was angry and drinking all the time. I had lost that quiet shy good boy vibe when we broke up. I was angry and miserable all the time.
I was just loading up my tools for the night when Andie returned home.
“Oh, I didn’t know you’d still be here,” she said, placing her bag on the unit by the front door and stepping out of her pink, shiny high heels.
