“No, she called Jonathan’s phone. My phone is in the pool.” I pointed through the siding doors.
“Yeah, right.” He rolled his eyes and folded his arms across his chest as he swayed from side to side.
“Follow me.” I stumbled out of bed and opened the sliding doors. Lauren, Betty, and Baz were sat further up, poolside just by the doors to the living area. “Look, just look. My fucking phone is. In. The. Pool!” I ground out through my teeth.
“Why?” Morgan looked confused.
“Because I’m sick and you wouldn’t fucking leave me alone! Listen, I can’t do this tonight.
Ladies, you can stay if you want, you know where the spare rooms are, you two”—I pointed to Morgan and Baz—“need to leave. Sorry, Baz.” I spun, nearly losing my balance from dizziness went back into my room and closed the door, locking it behind me.
I got up in the morning feeling much better. The girls had made me breakfast and had left to go back to their own homes. Jonathan had been out and got me a new phone, one where I was able to keep my number. I heard a truck pulling up out back and the front door opening, Jonathan’s voice talking to one very familiar voice. Morgan. He walked into the living area alone and seemed shocked to see me sitting there.
“Hey, Morg. I’m sorry for yesterday and… well, everything.” I patted the side of the sofa and put my new phone onto the coffee table.
“I can’t talk now, gotta work.” He pointed out back. His eyes had dark circles underneath them and he looked pale.
“That’s just it, though, we never get a chance to talk.”
“No, we don’t. Every time I try to talk to you, you’re working or tired or just want to fuck.”
He was angry and I couldn’t deny that the fury in him was turning me on. His blue eyes blazed in anger and when he folded his arms over his chest, the muscles bulged in them. Normal sex with Morgan was amazing, I’d bet angry sex would be even better. I wondered if he had a spare thirty minutes?No, focus.
“You knew the hours I worked when we got together.”
There was a beeping of a horn. “Just a minute.” Morgan held up a finger and went out to the back. Within a few minutes he was back. “Yeah, I did, but we’re not together, are we? You don’t want that; you just want to use me,” he yelled.
“Then why are all your things around my house? Everywhere I go, there’s something of yours, and you don’t even stay here that often.” It was starting to feel like a relationship which was terrifying me, and I had to put a stop to it, well to slow things down anyway.
“Because you keep such stupid hours, I’ve left clothes and a toothbrush here, maybe some deodorant so I can shower and get dressed to go straight to work having been up with you all night. You know what? You’re right. I’ll go get my things. Sorry to have inconvenienced you.” He stormed from room to room grabbing his things. I let him go, trying to talk when one is so angry would not be productive. “Right, I think I’ve got it all, I’ve thrown it in the van. Are you happy now?”
“No.” My shoulders dropped, and I looked to the floor, not able to look at him any longer. I felt tears welling up in my eyes. “No, I’m not happy, Morgan, and neither are you. This is getting too hard, too complicated. I don’t want complicated.” This time I forced myself to look up at him.
“What are you saying, Andie?” His voice had dropped to barely above a whisper. “Are we over?”
“No, not over. Unless that’s what you want?”
A sharp pain hit me straight through the heart and I swallowed hard. I was selfish, I knew it, I didn’t want him fullybut couldn’t let him go to find someone who would give him everything he wanted.
“No, I don’t want to end things. If anything, you know I want more. I want all of you.” He got on his knees in front of me and held my hands.
“I can’t, Morg, I’m sorry. Maybe we should just slow things down, take a week off.”
“Youwere the one last night who wantedmytime. Slow things down? We can’t get any fucking slower than we are now! Fuck, I told you I was in love with you, and you walked away. That fucking broke me.” His voice cracked and he pressed the palms of his hands into his eyes. “I’m done. I can’t do this anymore. It’s over,” he yelled, pushing away from me and standing up.
His eyes bulged, his chest heaved, and his mouth opened and closed, as if there was more he wanted to say. He jumped up and stormed out of the house, slamming the front door behind him.
I waited a few minutes, my hand still covering my mouth, tears pricked at my eyes and my nose burned, to see if he would return but he didn’t.
“Nolan? Morgan had to leave and I’m going to bed before work,” I called out the back.
“Yeah, I heard. You two will sort it out,” he replied softly and went back to work.
“Maybe,” I whispered to myself.
My feet dragged as I moved into my room and locked the door behind me. My chest felt tight, and my body felt too heavy. I climbed onto the bed under the covers, curling up into a ball and cried myself asleep.
CHAPTER 20
