“My dad would come in and out of our lives as he could. While that was happening, my mom seemed to stay on her meds and was relatively happy. Until the day my dad told my mother he worked things out with his wife and they were having a baby.”
Paxton turned his head so he wasn’t looking at me any longer. I wasn’t sure what was going through his head.
“I was mad at him. I was angry at his wife. And I despised the baby they were going to have.” When he looked at me again, his tormented gaze broke my heart. “I didn’t mean to feel that way, I swear I didn’t.”
I pushed up and straddled his lap, placing both hands on his chest.
“Baby, it’s okay to have feelings. It was a hard situation and you were just a little boy who wanted his father around.”
Paxton’s chest tightened under my fingers as he took a sharp intake of air. “He said he would take care of us and I know he sent my mom money. He even said he told his wife everything and would be in my life, but my mom went berserk and told him to get out, to never come back. I wasn’t only mad at all the things I told you before, but then I was livid at my mom.”
I wasn’t sure what to do to soothe him. It broke my heart to see his eyes shimmering with tears that I knew he wouldn’t let fall.
“He did as she asked and I never saw him again. But before he walked out, he hugged me and I remember him telling me that he would always be thinking about me and to know I could be anything I ever wanted to be when I grew up. Then he handed me a big toy airplane.”
Paxton had a wistful look on his face.
“I hung onto that thing forever and from that day on I knew I would do something that had to do with planes. You know I joined the Air Force and my specialty was Pararescue, search and rescue. I wasn’t flying the planes, but I sure did love jumping out of them. It was a rush that made me feel free and knowing that I was there to help someone made it even better.”
He smiled the first smile I’d seen in a while from him and the tension seemed to drain from his body. It was easy to see that he enjoyed his time in the service. Even when he separated from the Air Force, he still kept up his search and rescue jobs by freelancing when and where he was needed.
Paxton's eyes dimmed as he went on to tell me how life with his mother was hard and he didn’t really keep many friends growing up. Because he wouldn’t bring them home or go to their house afraid of what might happen with his mom, he kept himself away from people.
It broke my heart that the little boy didn’t get to enjoy a happy, carefree life.
“It was hard to leave my mom when I joined the Air Force, but it was all I’d ever wanted for so long and I was drowning at home. I’m just so damn sorry I didn’t look for Gemma sooner somehow and that I didn’t keep better tabs on my mom. With my mom, I really did try.”
Paxton sat up with me right on his lap and scooched back against the headboard. He thrust his hands into my hair and held my face in his hands.
“I may have kept myself away from people all my life but I’ll be damned if I keep myself from you. I will do my best to never lie to you like you have been lied to in the past, but I wasn’t honest with you earlier.”
My body froze and I braced for what he was going to say.
“I’m not falling, darlin’. I’m already there. I probably have been since the first time I saw you.” He leaned in closer, pulling my head toward him at the same time. With our lips mere inches from one another, he said, “I love you, Capri.”
With trembling lips and tears trickling down my cheeks, I let all my worries go and said what was in my heart.
“I love you too.”
We sealed it with a kiss.
ChapterEighteen
PAXTON
Thank fuck for the holidays.
A month sped by and it was Labor Day weekend. The bakery was closed Sunday and Monday so I was taking my girl to the beach. We were leaving Saturday evening and would come back Monday in time to hit the BBQ at Bodie and Gemma’s place.
Two nights in a motel with Capri was a dream come true. Sure we were alone at the condo—the one I stayed at every night even though I had my own—but getting a mini vacation was completely different.
It was just the break that she needed; the woman worked harder than anyone I knew, and even though she hadn’t been feeling well over the past week, she refused to take time to rest. Besides that, since moving to Portland she hadn’t gone anywhere unless it was close around town or one of our friends’ places. I looked over to the passenger seat as we drove and smiled at the beauty sound asleep.
She was a vision.
Diverting my eyes back to the road, I chuckled. Who would have thought that I would be such a sap and there would be a woman who could take me to my knees. A weird feeling rushed through me. I’d been thinking I’d do anything for her but the ‘take me to my knees’ thought had a vision running through my head of me actually on my knees in front of her, pledging my life to her.
I shook my head to clear the crazy thoughts. I’d never pictured myself as one to get married, but as I took another quick peek at Capri, I also never imagined meeting someone so special. She made me want things I always felt would be out of reach for me for some reason.
