That seemed to appease him. “Okay, but call me if you need anything.Anythingat all. And if I don’t hear from you soon, I’ll be beating down the door.”
I let out a nervous chuckle at his comment. I hoped he would give me enough time before that happened and I had a head start.
“I will,” I told him. I didn’t promise because that wasn’t going to happen.
“Okay, darlin’,” he said.
God, I was going to miss hearing him call me that. And with that thought I reacted in a desperate manner.
Going up on my toes, I grabbed the front of his navy-blue t-shirt and pulled him close to me. And then I laid one on him. His mouth opened in surprise and I realized our roles had been reversed. This time it was me shocking the shit out of him and also taking advantage.
When his shock wore off, he dove in and kissed me senseless. I let the kiss wash over me for a few minutes and then sadly I pushed away from him.
“What was that for?” he asked in a husky voice.
“A thank you,” I told him nervously. I turned, unlocked the door and practically dove inside as I waved at him and called out, “I’ll call you.”
I slammed the door and with a loud thump, my insides were torn to pieces.
It was goodbye.
* * *
I scurriedaround the condo as fast as I could.
I’d seen it in Paxton’s gorgeous blue eyes—he wasn’t going to wait long before checking on me. That made my heart warm and also made me panic.
Leaving was bittersweet.
I didn’t want to leave at all and lying to him left a bad taste in my mouth. But I couldn’t help but revel in how protective and nice he was and how that made my belly flutter with a feeling I shouldn’t be entertaining because it made it harder to go.
Even if I could stay, I wasn’t sure I could trust what I felt. My late husband hurt me, but I had a feeling Paxton would have the ability to crush my heart, rendering it to never beat again.
I was wasting precious time on thinking of things I didn’t need to worry about. There would never be another guy for me.
After grabbing a few things the ladies brought over so I had some extra clothes and shoving them in the small bag that was there, I grabbed a pen and paper out of my purse. My hand shook as I wrote a note to the group.
To the whole group,
I know I held myself back from everyone but I never meant to get close to anyone in my life after what I have been through. While it may have started out that way because I didn’t know who I could trust, please know I without a doubt know now I can trust every single one of you.
However, I am not willing to risk getting any of you hurt because of me. I have been there before and it eats at me every single day knowing it is my fault that there are beautiful souls who died because of me.
It kills me that I have to leave you all but it is better this way. Know that I will cherish every gathering, the laughs we shared, and getting to be a part of your lives. Nobody could ask for better friends than you all. Wherever I am, you will all be in my heart.
Paxton, please tell the lady who owns the bakery building that I appreciate her helping me, no questions asked, and that I swear I will find a way to send her money very soon to repair the upstairs damages. And while I probably shouldn’t say this but I need to, Paxton, the way you have cared for me the last couple of days and the way I feel when I am around you was something I never expected. It’s different than anything I have felt in my life and I am grabbing on to that feeling to keep me company when I am alone again.
Please give all the kids hugs for me.
Love,
Capri
By the time I got done with the note, tears poured down my face and I was a snotty mess. I could barely breathe and my heart was broken. I ran to the bathroom to wash my cheeks and pull myself together once again before heading to the front door. I picked up my purse, the bag of clothes and toiletries and sighed as I looked around once more. The few boxes of things from my apartment that weren’t ruined, were still there. Everyone thought that I would be fixing the place and they’d be there for me later, but that was another lie that had slipped through my lips.
My eyes landed on the key I left on the counter. When Kace came back he’d find it, but I couldn’t lock the door and take it with me so I had to leave it there for the time being.
It’s time.
