It would be nice to have help and they were my friends.
At least they were for the next few hours.
* * *
It was even worsethan I remembered.
The night before when I saw my home, I’d said I didn’t want anything. That was true, but I wouldn’t have had much of a choice in the matter anyway because most of it was ruined.
Blowing out a frustrated sigh, I glanced around at the piles of my belongings. The clothes, especially my undergarments, felt dirty after being touched by a stranger. And the table and chairs in the small dining space were broken, along with my dishes, pictures, and so many other items.
I felt sick to my stomach as I’d watched the majority of it get loaded in Gyth’s truck to take to the dump. While I didn’t have much, it sucked at the thought of having to buy everything new. Then I remembered I had to run and would have had to leave most of it behind anyway.
Luckily I had a go-bag in the trunk of my car that had clothes in it, toiletries and some cash if I ever had to leave in a hurry. Since I had to do that once in my life already and couldn’t take anything but the clothes on my back and my purse with me, I’d learned to be prepared.
That would have to do until I found another place to land.
As we finished up and were saying our goodbyes so Paxton could take me back to the condo, I looked around at the fabulous group of people who had brightened my life while I was here. Tears threatened to fall and I pushed them back. I’d done too much crying over the last couple days and I needed to keep it together.
“Let us know when you want to go shopping and what else we can help with,” Gemma said as we stood outside the front of the bakery.
The other ladies, as well as the guys, added their two cents about being available whenever I needed help too, making it harder to contain the tears. Somehow I managed to hold them at bay until we started to pull away from the curb.
When I glanced at my bakery one last time, they fell like dominos.
Paxton didn’t say anything, he just reached over and grabbed my hand in his, lending me his support. He probably assumed I was upset about the mess and my things, but little did he know that while that was awful, leaving the business that I built and all the people I’d grown to care about was so much worse.
Paxton included.
There was something there between us, I think we both had felt it, but nothing could have happened anyway. I still couldn’t stop thinking about it. Unease still settled in my bones because I might not just be running from bad guys, but from a future I actually would have loved.
By the time we got back to the condo, my tears had dried and I put my big girl panties on so I could make it through what was about to come next. I may not want to leave, but I also didn’t want to get hurt or die. The even bigger concern was, I couldn’t stand the thought of anything happening to my friends.
When we reached the parking lot, Paxton released my hand. I bit the inside of my cheek, willing myself not to do anything stupid, like snatch his hand right back, and spill every horrid detail of my life so far. Then, beg him to help me.
I knew without a doubt he and all the others would bend over backward to do anything they could. But they had families to keep safe so I couldn’t allow it.
Me, I had nobody.
The passenger door opened and I was startled, giving a little yelp of surprise. I hadn’t even realized he had gotten out of the vehicle.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” he said.
Paxton held out his hand and I greedily grabbed it knowing I would never feel anything like it again. I’m not even sure what I was thinking. Even if I could stay, how would I ever believe in another man or let myself get comfortable with my past always haunting me?
So I’d take the few minutes I had left and cherish them.
Turmoil spun in my stomach when we reached my condo door. It was time and I had to be convincing. Paxton had kept my hand in his the whole way and it killed me to release him, but somehow I managed to pull away.
I spun to face him, my back to the door. “I think I am okay with you going to your place.” I blew out a breath. “I need to shower and take a little time to think on my own. It's been a rough couple of days.”
I attempted to give him a small smile of encouragement that I was okay, something I didn’t feel at all. He studied me for a few seconds, looking for something and I felt myself start to break out in a fine sheen of sweat under my clothes. Paxton was a smart guy and I wasn’t sure if I could fool him.
“Really, I’m fine. I can call you a little later and check in if that makes you feel better?” I didn’t think he was buying it but after a few more seconds he nodded.
“If you’re sure.”
“I’m totally sure,” I jumped in a bit too eagerly, causing his eyes to narrow in scrutiny. “I’m just wiped out, Paxton. But I’ll be okay.”
