Bodie’s eyes studied mine and a mischievous grin tilted his mouth as though he knew exactly where my thoughts had gone.
“Daddy?” came again.
He sucked in a breath. “Sorry, sometimes in the night they call for me but settle again. I guess that’s not the case this time, I need to go check.”
His finger that was on my chin moved to trace my lower lip and my lungs seized. He made me feel so much. Made me feel soalive.
“Give me a minute. Don’t leave,” he said in a pleading tone before dropping his finger and turning to head down the hall to check on his girls.
When he was gone, I felt the loss in a big way. So I did what my mind was telling me to do to protect my heart. A heart and body that was screaming to stay planted right there and wait for him to return.
But my mind won and I fled.
* * *
I was alone.
I’d been by myself and on my own a lot throughout my life. And I’d always been fine. I preferred it most of the time unless I was hanging out with the ladies. In my head, I knew I wanted what my friends had with their husbands and kids, but I’d never been in a rush, knowing it was only something that would happen when I’d found the right person.
But once I’d been in Bodie’s arms, felt his lips against mine, and been submerged in the desire that consistently consumed me when he was around, being alone seemed so different.
Because I missed him.
When I ran out of his place I never imagined that I’d feel the way I did. How the hell was I supposed to navigate around him and those sweet girls now? I’d lost my marbles and assaulted him right there on his very own couch.
The bad part was, I wanted to do it again.
He couldn’t be the one.
Bodie still grieved his wife. He’d had that love and was still trying to process that loss at times. He’d also already married and had children, something I still wanted. I’d seen his face when Brinley went into labor and knew he never was going to go through having children again. Who could blame him after he’d lost his wife the way he had?
I sat on my couch, head spinning in circles and my heart aching.
We’d been spending a lot of time together. I would just have to put space between us and hope that this feeling he provoked inside me went away.
Keep telling yourself that Gemma.
Bodie had wormed a hole straight into my soul and Peyton and Piper had stolen my heart. Probably right along with their father. It was quick, like getting struck by lightning and it burned that I couldn’t have what I truly wanted.
A tear threatened to fall.
Resting my head on the back of the couch, I took a couple of deep breaths to try and manage the feeling of sorrow that plagued me. I’d managed loss before when I lost my parents and somehow I felt I’d lost again. But how could that be when Bodie hadn’t even been mine to lose?
I knew I wasn’t making any sense. The loss of my parents and not being able to be with Bodie were not the same. But something inside said he was important too and not having him cut deep.
My phone chimed with a text and my heart raced.
Intuition said it was Bodie. I wasn’t sure why he’d be texting after what happened and then the way I bailed, but I knew it was him.
After sitting up straight, I grabbed my phone that lay next to me on the couch with shaky fingers and hit the message waiting for me.
I sucked in a breath at what I read.
Bodie: I don’t know why you left but we will finish what we started. You matter to me Gemma and I can’t just walk away from that.
I dropped the phone and let tears that I’d held at bay, fall.
How was I going to stay away when he said things like that?
