Anika nods, forcing herself to smile. ‘Yeah, yeah, I am.’
Shamz is still eyeing her closely. ‘Some dark shit in that film, boy. But teenage me would have loved to see a story like that when I was coming out. That girl was everything I wish I could have been at that age.’ Anika nods and Shamz nudges her, glancing at her stomach. ‘You’re feeling OK, though, right?’ Anika knows she means healthwise now, and her jaw clenches. ‘I’m looking forward to a likkle Neeks and Meeks time tonight,’ Shameeka continues. ‘As long as you’re definitely up to it.’
Anika’s getting tired of people eyeing her like a time bomb that could blow up again any minute. Her mother, and now Shameeka? She’s absolutely fine, she’s sure of it. She has to be … Mentally composing some new affirmations to deal with this, she says, ‘I’m good, Shamz. I was out last night, too, that’s all.’
‘Out?’ Shamz doesn’t do much to hide her incredulity. ‘Out where? With who?’
‘You don’t know her.’
‘Her?What am I missing?’
She’s hesitant to get into the story of last night’s reunion now. ‘Er … well, maybe you would remember her. Hattie, my mate from uni?’ Shamz squints both eyes in an attempt to recall and, Anika can tell, in suspicion at her friend’s caginess.
‘Ah, seen, yeah, I remember. Stunner! I tried to move her one time, but I swear she had a thing for you, though.’ Shameeka chortles dismissively, but it peters out when Anika smirks and says,
‘Yeah … still does.’ She regrets adding that, seeing Shamz’s expression fall.
‘This liking-girls shit isn’t some game, babe,’ her friend says lightly, but Anika can tell she’s not joking.
Thankfully they pull up at the venue a second later. Anika ignores Shamz’s frown by turning to look out of the cab window up at the dark, imposing building on whose roof sits the elegant bar where the party is taking place. Tina insists on paying and they all clamber out of the taxi and then hang back at the entrance while Shameeka explains who they are to the security guys. They’re waved through the dark lobby and into the lift. When the doors open up on the top floor, a frizzy-haired brunette in black trousers and a white shirt greets them, offering yet another glass of champagne. Anika’s blood will be full of bubbles by the end of the night, but she takes one and follows the others into the party. It’s primarily for some press, crew, actors and producers to celebrate the film’s release ahead of the big blowout due for the film’s premiere. ApparentlyEnd of the Dayhas been attracting a lot of attention – unsurprisingly given Cam’s popularity and the director Maxwell Lumumba’s reputation as the UK’s preeminent music-video helmer making his big-screen debut. Anika absently wonders just how much further into the stratosphere Cam’s career will be launched. Will he even still be interested in chatting to her, or in whatever might be starting to happen between them?
As if on cue, Anika spots Cam leaning against the bar on the far side of the rooftop, standing close to one of the female actors from the film. Her slender frame is clothed in a caramel bodycon dress that barely contrasts with her skin tone, her back caressed by what must be thirty-six inches of the finest Kanekelon ponytail money can buy. The woman is grinning at Cam like he’s a snack she plans to devour, and jealousy makes Anika’s lips purse. She still can’t stifle her wry smile when Cam looks up and catches Anika staring if not daggers, then at least some darts. He says something to his companion and then immediately starts walking over towards Anika.
‘Let’s hit the bar,’ Tina is saying beside her, but it’s as though she’s in a tractor beam, barely able to hear her friend.
‘Um, I’ll catch up with you lot in a minute,’ Anika mumbles, managing to pull her gaze away from Cam to look back at her friends. Maia grins, seeing who Anika’s been watching.
‘Mm, I bet she will,’ she says to the others, and they amble away. Tina and Maia are chuckling, but Anika notices that Shamz doesn’t join in as readily.Why’s she salty?
Suddenly Cam is in front of her holding a glass of the brown liquor he mentioned earlier, clinking with a large ice cube. One eyebrow skyrockets up towards his hairline as he comes to a halt and looks at her. ‘So.’ A typical Cam sentence, now a statement more than a question, but Anika can see the eagerness in his expression.
‘So,’ she replies. ‘Well, the soundtrack was flames. I mean, I’d love to do a deep-dive on it for that show I want to put together.’ She’s still holding her almost-full glass of champagne and takes a long sip of it, swallowing awkwardly.Why did I say that?
Cam sips his drink too, and then slides one hand into the pocket of his flat-fronted suit trousers. Anika’s eyes are drawn to the noticeable bulge the movement of the material creates and she flicks them back up, hopefully before he notices.
‘OK, OK. Strictly on a business thing, then, yeah?’ He sounds disappointed and Anika curses her nerves for making her glib. Reaching over to a nearby table to put down the champagne flute, she moves a step closer to him.
‘No.’ Her voice is low under the sleek house music echoing from the bar’s speakers and into the night air. She makes sure to hold his gaze. ‘No. That was a dickhead thing to say. I only said it because I thought the film was …sogood. Like, it scared me how good it was. How much it dug down into things that I’ve thought about since I was a kid. Since … we knew each other.’ He watches her, uncharacteristically inscrutable. Anika carries on. ‘It made me think about what … what it means to lose someone. What it means to face that possibility. For others, or for ourselves.’ She hesitates. ‘Formyself.’ She looks at Cam, noticing his brows draw closer at that, and sucks in a breath. ‘And the music really was incredible.Hermusic? But I felt like I was really seeing you, too. Andbeingseen.’ Emotions she’s afraid to confront momentarily thicken into unshed tears in her throat and she looks down at the floor, drawing in another long breath just as Cam seems about to speak. ‘It was basically like, I dunno,8 MilemeetsAtonement,’ she says quickly. ‘Which is fucking mad and genius. Basically, in short, I loved it.’ Anika pauses for a second, then adds more slowly, ‘She would have loved it too. Zaya. I mean, obviously I hardly knew her, but I think I’m right.’
At last Anika falls quiet and feels a creeping discomfort as Cam says nothing for what feels like an eternity. Then, finally, he drains his drink and puts down the glass on the same table as Anika’s abandoned flute. Running his hands up his face and over his close-shorn head, he gazes up at the sky for a moment before abruptly looking back into Anika’s eyes.
‘I really needed to hear that, Anika Lapo,’ he says. ‘Thank you.’ He shakes his arms loose, as though they’ve cramped up. Like he’s stopping himself from reaching for her? As if to confirmthis, he crosses his arms and tucks his hands into his armpits, tilting his head to one side with the familiar twinkle of mischief back in his eyes. ‘8 MilemeetsAtonement, yeah? Talk about an elevator pitch. Maybe you should be my manager instead of doing the radio ting.’ They both chuckle, and just then a hefty guy in a dark suit and distinctive Afro sideburns claps Cam on his shoulders from behind. Cam startles and then spins around, and the two men begin a sequence of handshakes and back-slaps. ‘My guy!’ Cam says. ‘We was just talking about replacing you. Anika, this is Asante Jones, my manager – for now.’ He laughs warmly while Asante encases Anika’s outstretched hand in his huge palms.
‘Ah,thisis Anika, yeah?’ the big man says in a booming voice, then winks incredibly unsubtly at Cam, who flaps his hands towards Asante in a ‘get out of here’ gesture. ‘Listen, two seconds, Cam – there’s a couple of people over there I said I’d introduce you to …’ While he speaks, Cam’s manager gives Anika an apologetic look that she, too, waves off.
‘No, of course, go, go, your adoring public awaits,’ she says, smiling towards Cam. She can also hear Shameeka calling her name and turns to acknowledge it. Her friends are standing around another of the podium-like tables, closer by than Anika expected. They’ve clearly been watching Anika and Cam talk, and she notices that Shamz is eyeing her with a frown.
‘Go nowhere till I come back, yeah? Don’t Cinderella on me,’ Cam is saying, moving closer to whisper in her ear, one hand briefly on her lower back. A tingle rattles down her spine and she nods.
Taking a deep breath to compose herself, Anika walks over to her friends. ‘Sorry about that,’ she says when she reaches them.
Tina makes an appreciative ‘mm mm mmm’ noise. ‘No need to apologise, babes. Get yours!’
Shameeka places a mojito in front of Anika, still seeming lessthan enthused. ‘Hang on. I know you met him at the agency, but do you know Cam Asiedu? Like,know him, know him?’ she asks, her gaze burrowing into Anika, who takes a sip of the drink, trying to buy herself more time even though she was planning to avoid alcohol for the rest of the night.
‘I mean, I only kind of know him. We were at school together for a little while,’ she says.
Tina and Maia make impressed noises but Shamz is shaking her head. ‘So, what, you didn’t want to mention that either? Why are you being so … I dunno, you’re acting like a different person all of a sudden, Neeks. Why all the secrets? Since when don’t we tell each other shit? The Hattie stuff one second, and now you’re out here flirting with man and we didn’t even know anything about you two having some deep past?’ She still tries to sound jokey as she finishes, but Anika knows her friend. Shameeka is annoyed for real now.
