“I could tell you two were involved beyond group. Or at least thought so. Connor confirmed that to me, and also that Logan told him you two broke up. I should have been clearer at the beginning of our sessions of that potential—the closeness, the transference that can sometimes happen in a group setting where emotions can get so raw. I feel I may have let you both down in that regard.”
“No. You didn’t. Logan and I had met before our first session. We had already become…somethingbefore that first Wednesday.”
“I see.”
I thought of the instant attraction I felt toward Logan that night at his house. And his telling me of seeing me last year and wanting to ask me out. Of looking for me all over campus when I’d already left for Lincoln. After that night when Ches interrupted us, if we hadn’t seen each other at Grief Group, I was sure Logan would have tried to find me again.
And just as sure that I’d have eventually ended up in his bed.
In love with him.
“Well, obviously I teach self-care and I don’t want to put you in a position you don’t feel you can handle right now,” Marlo said. “So yes, you and I can make some sort of arrangement to finish out the semester privately. We can do the assessments and those types of things maybe on Fridays after this class. I have time then.”
“I do too. Thank you. Really.”
“Of course. You were a good addition to the group, Megan. Honest, sharing, empathetic to others. The group will be less without you, but I understand.”
“And Connor? What did he ask you to tell the group?”
“Well, he’s working with the college. We both are. As are his parents. Sadly, this happens enough across college campuses that protocols are in place for getting the student help, and for possible re-entry if that’s what they want and the college agrees it’s in their best interest. Both Bribury’s and, of course, Connor’s.”
“Is he going home?”
She shook her head. “Not at the moment. He doesn’t want to. Right now, he feels that his presence in Settlers Hill would be hurtful to the parents of the friends he lost. As well as himself.”
“Because of Chloe’s post,” I said.
She nodded.Fucking Chloe.“And I agree. I’m on the panel that will review his status, as well as working with him privately in my capacity as a therapist. All of this he asked me to share with the group tonight, so I’m not breaking any confidentiality.”
No, I didn’t think she would. Marlo had been nothing but professional with us all, while also walking the compassion tightrope. Not an easy task.
She checked her watch. “I’m sorry, but I have to get to an appointment. But let’s plan on spending some time together after class on Friday, yes?”
“Yes. Thank you. Really, Marlo, thank you for everything.”
She nodded and studied me. “I hope some of it was helpful to you, Megan, and continues to be.”
I knew if it hadn’t been for group, I never would have been able to handle the feelings I’d had in the past week. The past year. She’d given me a new perspective, a new way to handle things, and I was grateful.
“It really was. I’ll see you Friday,” I said, then left the classroom.
* * *
I expecteda text from Logan when I didn’t show up on Wednesday, but there was nothing. Paige reached out after I didn’t show, and we met for coffee on campus on Thursday. She absolved me for Chloe’s actions, much like Connor had. It was good of her to do, and I did feel better about it all, but was still in a numb state for the next week. Whether from Connor’s condition, Chloe’s actions, or losing Logan.
Mostly from losing Logan.
And then, the following Wednesday afternoon, I got a text from Connor.
Heard you bailed last week. You better be there tonight. Guest appearance from yours truly.
That’s great,I replied.Glad to hear you’re up to it. But I’m continuing to work with Marlo solo.
Fuck that. Be there. Otherwise I’m showing up at your dorm room to talk, and you don’t want to see what happens if Chloe happens to be there.
See you tonight,I responded.
And then I spent the rest of the afternoon putting my armor in place to see Logan.
