Page 62 of In Too Long


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I shook my head. “No.”

“No. But there was a lightness to you last night. A little playfulness that had been dormant.”

“Dormant. Good word. Might bring that one up in Grief Inc.”

I’d brought my parents up to speed last night about the group and the interesting things I’d learned, how some had even seemed to help. Or at least had me realizing that I wasn’t alone in losing someone I loved.

“Well, whatever it was, I’m glad it got you energized enough for all this.” I waved again at the overflowing kitchen counters filled with groceries and paper products.

“Happy to do it. And again, sorry for the ambush last night at the game. I just really wanted to be here and was afraid that you’d—”

I cut her off with a hug (something I would probably not have done in front of any other girl I’d spent the night with) and said, “It’s okay. It caught me off guard, but I’m glad you’re here. It’s good to see you. And I’m glad you made the trip.”

Her face moved against my shoulder in a way that made me think she was wiping a forming tear away. When she pulled back, I could see the wetness on my shirt, confirming it.

“Okay. Enough of that. Let’s eat.”

Megan

I had plannedto eat and run, wanting a shower and to give Logan more time with his parents. His roommates joined us for breakfast, and the talk was all about the game last night and the upcoming one tonight. They were so engrossed in conversation that it seemed natural that I clear the table, even though Logan was quick to tell me I didn’t need to and even hopped up to help. I waved him down and even kind of enjoyed clearing the table and doing the dishes.

Logan’s mom joined me at the sink.

“I suppose I could just load these in the dishwasher, but it’s been a while since I’ve done dishes. Not much call for that in the dorms. Rinsing out a plate or mug about covers it. Seems kind of nice.”

“I always found doing dishes oddly relaxing,” she said. “Even when the boys were young, and I wanted them to take on the responsibility, I would still do them when they were at practice or school. Not very feminist of me, I suppose.”

I shrugged. “Doing what relaxes you could be considered very feminist. As long as it’s what you want to do.”

She smiled and continued drying a plate I’d washed and rinsed. The warm, soapy water felt good on my hands, and I found myself missing the bathtub in the bathroom Mallory and I shared at home. I took a lot of long baths last year when my siblings had been at school and my dad was at work. Anything to not have to face being in my mother’s house without her.

“How are you adjusting to the dorms? Logan liked it well enough last year, but J hated his freshman year in the dorm. Didn’t like being around so many people.”

“It can take a while to get used to,” I said. “The hallways full of people. Common areas always full. But yeah, it’s good.”

Her hands paused mid-wipe and her brow furrowed as though a thought had just come to her. “I wonder if it reminded J of the hospital? I don’t know how much you know about…”

“I know James—J—was sick when he was younger too. I could see a dorm reminding him of that.”

She was nodding. “I’m just putting that together now. I wonder if he did? If he knew that’s why he disliked the dorm?” A sadness I recognized was creeping into her expression, and then she literally shook it away. “Anyway. He loved living off campus the next year. And, of course, being on the team meant so much time away from the dorm anyway.”

“That’s good,” I said, not having anything better to say.

We finished the dishes, and I announced that I needed to get back to the dorm.

“Will we see you at the game tonight?” Logan’s dad asked.

I cut a quick look to Logan, who was nodding. “Yeah. Can you come?” he asked.

I could, I absolutely could. But because I wanted to so badly, I figured it was probably best not to. Besides, a night away from Logan would give me time to get my feelings in order. Figure out what I wanted. And didn’t want.

Logan smiled, his dimples crinkling, and IknewI needed some space.

“I really can’t. But thanks. It was fun last night.” I turned to his parents, who were now standing expectantly in the doorway to the living room. “Thank you again for dinner last night, and breakfast. Truly outstanding French toast.”

“Anytime. Really,” Tricia said.

“I’ll walk you back to the dorm,” Logan said, but I shook my head.