And definitely in Logan time.
Did grief make time feel like dog years? Because the mere five weeks I’d known Logan felt like a year. We’d learned so much about each other during our weekly group meetings. And the other kids, too. But it was different with Logan. Deeper.
Plus our time together afterward, whether alone or with Connor or Jane and Stick.
And now we were at a crossroads. We both knew it.
Yes, of course, we could just talk for a while and I could go home. Or crash here, but in a “concerned friend” kind of way. And I was absolutely certain that I could make that choice at any point and Logan would be cool with that.
But that wasn’t what I wanted. I wanted to have him on top of me. Inside of me. All over me.
And I was sure he felt the same way.
The difference was, it felt to me like something was ramping up. That this was a start. And I couldn’t be sure that it was the same for Logan. Was this a beginning for him too, or more like a mission to be completed?
The question was, would I be cool with it if that were the case? Would I take it for what I had said was the goal this year—a fun hookup with no strings with a hot guy, then moving on? Not looking back. Certainly not crashing into his room during a party when he was with another girl.
Because otherwise I risked a lot. Pride. Heartache. A major setback to my mulligan year.
This fuck had better be worth all that.
I entered Logan’s room to find him sprawled on his bed, his shirt off and that glorious chest bared. “Lock the door this time,” he said with a devilish grin on his face, the dimples in his cheeks almost as deep as the one on his chin. I locked the door.
It was going to be worth it.
Chapter20
I crossedto the bed and sat on the edge so my butt was about level with his waist. He scooched a little more toward the center, then held open an arm for me to join him. I kicked off my boots and peeled off my socks with them, then lay down next to him. He put his arm around my shoulders and I rolled to my side, into him, placing a hand on his abs. So many abs. So well defined.
I couldn’t help the sigh that came from me when I ran my hand up and down his stomach and to his chest, populated with dark, thick hair, which only got darker as it disappeared into the fly of his jeans.
“Wanna talk about tonight?” I asked softly.
“Kind of. But I’m afraid to,” he said.
“Why afraid to? You share in Grief Inc. It’s not so different. Or is it different because it’s me? I mean,justme, not the group?”
“No, it’s not that. If anything, it’s probably easier that it’s just you. I mean, I know we sit side by side on Wednesdays, but in my head, I’m kinda just talking to you in there. That’s how I think about it, anyway. How I get through it.”
“Logan,” I whispered. I placed a soft kiss on his shoulder, then rested my head in the crook of his neck and shoulder, which felt proportioned precisely for my head. My hand rested at the top of his chest, my finger trailing along his clavicle.
“Yeah. Sorry if that’s too much,” he said.
“It’s not too much,” I quickly responded. I didn’t need to give the whole game away, but it was safe to let him know I cared too.
“Good. Good. So yeah, I feel totally comfortable talking about it with you. This shitshow of a night. But I’m afraid it’ll… I don’t know… kill the vibe.”
“Is the vibe more than what a shitshow this night was for you?”
He rolled to his side, his arm coming underneath my head, drawing me closer. His other hand rested on my hip. “God, I hope so,” he whispered, his breath minty as it hit me.
And then he kissed me.
I quickly snaked my arm around his neck, wanting to pull him even closer even though we were plastered to each other. Our tongues danced, moving together, like we’d done this so many times before that we already knew each other’s likes and dislikes. But we hadn’t. It was just easy together.
“Megan,” he said between kisses. He had his mouth on my jaw, then a quick glide of his tongue on my neck caused me to shiver. “It’s been too long. We waited so long.”
His lust must be measured in dog years like mine was, because yes, I’d wanted Logan Fields the moment I saw him five weeks ago, and it had seemed like an eternity before this night came.
