Page 26 of In Too Long


Font Size:

The girl who gave them to me was waiting to watch me open the card, but I wanted none of that, so I brought them up to our suite.

Thankfully, Chloe and Abby didn’t seem to be in their bedroom, and Emily was not in ours, so I shut the door and placed the big bouquet on my desk, gently pulling out the card and taking it with me as I climbed onto my bed.

Thinking of you today. Logan.

I read it twice, trying to make sense of it. Why was Logan Fields sending me roses? Why was hethinking of me? Pulling my phone from my backpack, I fired off a text.

They’re beautiful, but what’s the deal with the roses?

I’d barely put my phone down to curiously stare at the flowers when my phone vibrated.

They’re not, like, love roses or anything – don’t freak out. But I figured you’d had enough of lilies and other mourning flowers in the past year.

He was right. Our house had been inundated with wreaths and planters and lilies after the funeral—

Fuck.It was the fifteenth. The anniversary of my mom’s accident. The day when a woman from the admissions office had pulled me out of Intro to Philosophy because my father didn’t want me to be alone when he broke the news to me on the phone.

The day my world changed.

Thinking of you today.

I had mentioned the anniversary was coming up last week at our grief session. That it was on the fifteenth. Logan had remembered.

I had not.

OMG. I forgot it was today. I’m such a piece of shit,I typed.

No. No. It’s good that you weren’t dwelling on it. I’m sorry if I triggered anything.

Something would have at some point. At least the flowers are pretty. Thank you.

Now I feel like I overstepped.

You didn’t. Really.

Please tell me you’re not beating yourself up about this.

Oh, I would definitely be beating myself up about this. But I didn’t need to drag Logan into my guilt.

Nope. Just dealing with shock. Again, thank you. They’re lovely. And not at all griefy.

I’m about to step out of the locker room and onto the ice for practice, but I’m available around six if you want to talk. I can come to you, or meet you somewhere.

Not necessary. I’m good. Also, I’ll need to talk with my dad and brother and sister.

Right. Hope it goes well.

Thanks. Thanks again. And have a good practice. See you Wednesday.

See ya then.

I stared at the flowers for ten minutes and then called my dad.

By seven I’d recovered from FaceTiming with my family. They’d gone to the cemetery and Dad had even let Mallory and Micah skip school.

And I’d gone on like any typical Monday, totally oblivious. I spoke with them all, then each one separately, finishing up with my dad. I didn’t tell him I’d forgotten; the guilt and shame were too deep. Plus, he had his hands full with M&M, as I called my younger sibs. Mallory was just starting her freshman year of high school, and I ached that she would be doing it without our mom ready to give advice, take her shopping, be too pushy, or justbe there. Micah was in seventh grade and thankfully was caught up in middle school football, which was all he wanted to talk about. My dad helped coach that team, so it was more time Micah got to be surrounded by people who could watch out for him. My mom’s sister lived nearby and I knew she would be a good stand-in if a literal, physical woman’s touch was needed, but it wasn’t the same. She’d never married or had kids, and used to travel a lot for work, but took a new position during the pandemic that she did remotely, enabling her to move to Lincoln to be closer to her sister and us. But she had her own life to live.

As did I, as she’d kept telling me over the last year.