“What about?” Less anger this time, more curiosity.
“I just wanted to explain why I haven’t called or texted.”
“I’m on my way to class.”
He nodded, stepping away from the pillar, walking slowly toward me. “Yeah, sure. I get that. Maybe later.”
Sometimes you have moments when you justknowyou’re at a fork in the road. That whatever you say or do next will decide something major in your life. Maybe I was being too dramatic, but I justknewthat if I didn’t talk with Lucas right now, there would be no hope for us.
The real question was: did I want there to be hope for us?
“I can skip class,” I said. “My room’s empty, let’s go up there.”
“Really?” he asked. I gave one small nod, then turned and returned into the dorm, Lucas at my side.
We rode the elevator up to the third floor in silence, but he stood very close to me. When we exited the elevator and I turned to the right, Lucas took my hand and held it as we made our way down the hall. It was warm and rough and damn, but it felt so right.
I unlocked the door and stood back, letting Lucas enter the room first. He did, taking his time and looking around. I tried to see it through his eyes—a blending of two very different styles that seemed to work. Jane’s side was eclectic and edgy, and yet kind of peaceful in a way. She had framed black-and-white photography on the walls, though sparingly. Her bedding was white with a black pattern through it, and some bright red as well. Her pillows and throw blanket were in the bright red, but her desk accessories were a deep eggplant. It was jarring when you looked at it at first, but then it all kind of blended together nicely once you got used to it.
Kind of like Jane.
My side was a study in comfortable textures and soothing colors. My comforter was a gorgeous sea foam color with white accents. A slate-gray cashmere throw lay at the foot of my bed.
My mother and I had gone shopping together to pick out all my stuff, then had a nice lunch at the mall. Over burgers, we’d talked about the great find of the comforter and how nice my room would look. How excited she was for me to be starting school. She’d even told some stories about her and my dad in college together, a wistful yet tender look in her eye. A look I didn’t often see in my typically all-business mother.
It’d been a really good day.
I didn’t have much on my walls. I hadn’t wanted to bring the posters of the bands I liked that adorned the walls of my bedroom at home. I thought that might be too, you know, high school.
And I hadn’t wanted to put a ton of family photos on the walls, either. I’d wanted to start fresh, be a new person. Wasn’t that the whole idea?
The problem was, I didn’t know who I wanted to be. Who was Lily Spaulding if not Grayson and Susan Spaulding’s daughter? If not Alexis’s younger or Gray’s older sister?
Was I, like most of my wall space, bare?
Was Lucas my definition? Was loving Lucas who I was to become?
Saturday night, I would have said an overwhelming yes. Today, I didn’t think so.
Though, standing behind him, watching his long hair move from side to side as he took in the whole room…
“I’m glad you came,” I said in almost a whisper. It was more to myself, but his back stiffened, and his head gave a small nod.
I locked the door behind me. “Let me just text Jane that I’m not coming to class so she doesn’t worry.” I pulled out my phone and quickly did the deed.
Skipping class, I texted.
You need to get your ass out of bed and stop obsessing about that loser, she responded.
Lucas here now. We’re going to talk.
A pause. Either Montrose had just come in and she’d had to put her phone away, or for once Jane was speechless. Textless?
Make the SOB grovel first.
First? She seemed to know there’d be a second act to this visit.
Lucas crossed to my side of the room and sat down on my bed, then turned to watch me. He was wearing jeans and a black hoodie. So simple, yet he looked so good. And seeing his large body taking up most of my small bed…
