“Oh yes. And by my last count had two children with other women. A son and a daughter.”
“You know, if he shows up, I’m going to kill him.” I didn’t hide my dark side.
“No, you won’t. He’s not worth going to jail for.”
“Jail is only for those who get caught.” I’d make sure authorities never found the body.
She shook her head. “You are something, Bruce.”
“Is that a good or bad thing?”
“Good.” She floated across the tub, close enough I could have grabbed her. “You’ve got me telling you things I’ve never told anyone. Have me feeling…” She turned her face away.
I couldn’t help but cup her chin so that I could see her expression as I softly asked, “Feeling what?”
“Like I’m seen. Valued. Respected.”
“Because you are that and much more.”
She drifted closer. “It’s been so long since I’ve felt that way, but most of all, you make me feel alive.” She reached out to trail wet fingers along my jaw which tightened.
It wasn’t the only part of me getting taut, but I wouldn’t act on it. She was being honest with me. Vulnerable. The last thing she wanted or needed was me mauling her, because for the first time in a long while, I also felt again. Felt something more than anger and depression.
“You’re just grateful for my help.” I tried to put things in perspective.
“It’s more than that. You’ve awakened something inside me…” She swallowed before whispering, “I never thought I’d feel desire again. After everything that’s happened, I thought that part of me forever lost.”
“You don’t want me,” I meant to make it a harsh rebuke, but it emerged almost pleading.
“I know what I feel.”
“It’s simply gratitude. That of a survivor grateful for a helping hand.”
She shook her head. “It’s more than that.”
How I wanted that to be true. But I knew better. It happened. A captive welcoming any kindness from their captor. A person abused and tortured wanting to show thanks for their rescue.
“Trust me, I’m not the man you need or want. Not even close, and I don’t say that lightly. Since meeting you, I’ve wished I were a different man. A better man. Because I would love nothing more than to take you to bed.”
“What if I want you to?”
“It would be wrong.”
“For whom?” she whispered close enough I felt the words on my lips.
“Us both.” I barely managed the raspy reply.
“I guess Joseph was right,” she stated, turning from me and floating away.
“About what?”
“That no man would ever find me attractive again.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” I barked. “You’re damned gorgeous.”
“So beautiful, you’re rejecting me.” Said with a laugh that sounded choked with tears.
“Not because of your looks. You’re in a vulnerable state right now and it would be wrong to take advantage.”
