I clear my throat, attempting to loosen it before I speak. “Thank you, Niko. But will you even need me if she’s in school full time?”
Niko pushes his plate forward and turns in his seat to give me his full attention. He rests his arm on the table and looks right into my eyes.
“I’ll still have away games and games at night where I’ll need someone to be with Sophia and put her to bed. Especially when school starts.”
Shit. I didn’t even think of that.
“I guess maybe I thought you’d want to hire someone more qualified to help.”
Niko huffs a laugh and shakes his head once. “You don’t get it, do you?”
Perplexed, I tilt my head and wait for him to continue.
“You’re everything I could ever want for Sophia. You’ve stepped into her life and have been a steady, positive presence. You’ve taught her how to express herself, though sometimes she still struggles. But from that first game at the arena where she broke down and told me she was afraid to cry in front of me, I’ve seen such a transformation in her. She’s open and talks to me about her feelings. She’s happier than I’ve seen her in months. And that’s all because ofyou.
“Hell, Sadie.I’mhappier than I’ve ever been in months. You make me slow down and focus on myself. I started watching old movies like I used to do before the Claire mess. I’m taking time for myself in the mornings, doing crossword puzzles. I even looked into dance classes the other day. You make us—you make me—better. You’ve changed our lives in such a short amount of time, I can’t imagine you not being here with us.”
I know he’s referring to me as a nanny, but part of me wishes it was more than that. I’m the one who told him we were a mistake, butfuck.
I want this man. I want him more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life.
“So…you want me to keep being her nanny even after the season?”
Something passes across Niko’s face. For a second I think I see disappointment. I could be imagining it, but when I said the word ‘nanny’ I swear I saw his jaw tighten. Like the word struck a nerve.
“Yeah, Sadie. I want you to stay with us if that’s something you’d be open to.”
I don’t miss how he doesn’t call me a nanny. Now I’m almost positive he did have a reaction when I said it a second ago. Maybe he’s still feeling what I’m feeling too. Does he want to reach over and grab me and kiss me as bad as I want to devour his mouth right now?
“I have to talk to Jerry to see if I have a job with the Bobcats next season, but yeah. I’d love to stay here and help out with Sophia.”
Yoga retreat in Denver be damned. Hopefully there’s a spot for me with a team so I can stay here and make a life for myself with the people who mean the most to me.
“You don’t have to decide right now. But I want you to know that I—we—would love it if you stuck around.”
His earnestness is almost too much. It makes my chestache and makes me want him more than I already do. I’m seconds away from grabbing the back of his neck and pulling him into me for a kiss. I pick my fork up to keep from making that mistake and turn in my chair to start eating the delicious meal he made for us.
“I’ll let you know after I meet with Jerry. Come on, let’s eat. The food is getting cold.”
My comment is like throwing ice water on the heat that was building between us, dousing it before it can catch fire.
Niko hesitates for a second like he’s going to say something else, but turns in his chair at the last second. He picks up his own fork and starts eating his dinner.
I force myself to eat, trying like hell to ignore the longing that thrums underneath my skin. Chew. Swallow. Repeat.
I promised to keep this boundary for Sophia’s sake. Formysake. But sitting here next to him, I’ve never wanted to break a promise more.
Sadie and I have been eating in silence for the past five minutes. Each scrape of her knife against the plate is amplified, making the awkward tension in here even worse.
Did I come on too strong, telling her she’ll always have a place with us? Maybe. But I just can’t find it in me to care anymore. It was my goal to make her stay, and if that means putting all of my cards on the table then so be it.
Sadie has infiltrated every fiber of my being. My body and soul are both craving her in ways I’ve never quite experienced before. It’s not just a physical want, although that’s definitely there too. I crave her laughter, her insight, the way she’s always pushing me to take better care of myself. Every single one of my instincts whispers toward her, a pull I’m beginning to realize I’m not going to be able to resist for much longer.
I look over at Sadie and notice she’s just poking around on her almost empty plate. Unable to handle the quiet for a second longer, I wipe my mouth with my napkin and adjust my upper-body so I’m facing Sadie. “Why don’t you go refill your glass and head out to the patio. I’ll take care of the dishes.”
She drops her fork and picks her napkin up off her lap. She places it onto her plate and stands. “I can help clean up.”
Before I can argue, Sadie grabs both her plate and the salad bowl. “I know, I know. You can handle it. But I want to help. Will you please just let me?”
