I close the door behind me and slump backward. That moment was way more awkward than it should’ve been. I look toward the ceiling and release a long breath. When I finally look down, Sadie is still standing there, a humorous glint to her eye.
“Something funny,Kulta?”
The nickname slides off my tongue naturally. I don’t mean to say it out loud but it comes out anyway.
Sadie looks stunned for a moment but it’s gone just as fast as it appeared. I’m worried she might ask me to explain the nickname to her but I’m not sure I’m ready to do that. Hell, I’m not sureshe’sready to hear it.
I stay still, holding my breath, waiting for the question. But it doesn’t come. Instead, I find myself laughing at what finally does come out of her mouth.
“I need a drink.”
I told Niko I’d be fine ordering pizza for dinner, but he wasn’t having it. He claims he’s on a strict diet for the playoffs, and who am I to argue a home-cooked meal? I haven’t been able to bake as much as I’d like in the gorgeous kitchen in my apartment and cooking kid-friendly meals for Sophia has proven harder than I expected.
The kitchen is thick with the comforting aroma of tomato sauce, garlic, and herbs. When Niko suggested eggplant parmesan, my mouth started watering at the thought. It has yet to stop watering as Niko moves around the kitchen with ease.
I had no idea watching a man cook was such a turn on. My eyes haven’t left him since he started putting dinner together. His forearms flex as he grates fresh parmesan onto the salad, and I fear I may start drooling. The timer on the oven goes off and I’m disappointed when he turns around to take the dish out of the oven. I could stare at those forearms all day. Who knew I had a forearm kink?
“Are you sure this is going to be enough for you? Don’t you need like ten times the normal amount of protein as an athlete?” I ask while sipping my glassof cabernet.
Niko chuckles and sets the dish onto the island in front of me. It smells heavenly. “There’s plenty of protein in this. And I may have some chicken in the fridge I plan on reheating to throw in mine.”
“I knew it!”
The conversation between us has been easy. We’ve talked about his upcoming game against the Milwaukee Steel Riders and the new show I’m watching on Netflix, but we have yet to venture into anything deeper. I know he wants to know about my family, but it’s not an easy topic for me. I also want to know what was going on with Sophia earlier. Maybe if I bring her up first, he will forget about the text I received from my sister.
Niko, the gentleman that he is, tells me to go sit at the table so he can plate our dishes. Being taken care of is new to me. I’ve never felt quite worthy of it, if I’m being honest. But, it’s a concept I could definitely get used to.
He sets my plate in front of me, and I’m surprised when he sets his down next to mine. I figured he was going to sit in his normal spot at the other end of the table, but my heart races when he takes the seat directly next to mine.
His arm brushes mine as he reaches for the salad bowl in front of us. I should move my arm away, create some type of distance between us, but the thought of feeling his body against mine, even if it’s a whisper of touch, is too exhilarating. I keep my arm exactly where it is.
“Are you sure Sophia’s okay? It looked like she had been crying when you guys got back from the pond.”
Niko finishes plating his salad and then offers me the bowl. “She told me what happened yesterday with the toilet and at naptime. The song you sang…well, her mom used to sing that to her whenever she was in town. The reminder shook her, and she got upset thinking you were going to leave us.”
Shit. I had no idea. I will never sing that song again for as long as I live.
I abandon the salad bowl before I get any on my plate. The thought of Sophia so worked up over something that is not going to happen has me too worried to even think about eating.
“Of course I’m not going to leave her. I hope you told her as much.” The concern is clear in my voice. I stare at Niko, waiting and hoping he took the time to explain to her I’m not going anywhere. Not yet at least.
Niko sets his fork down and squeezes my hand. “I did tell her that. But I also told her I’m not sure how long you’ll be with us. We never discussed what happens after the season is done.”
He picks his fork back up but he doesn’t eat. All he does is push the food around on his plate. This conversation just got serious, but it’s definitely something I’ve been wanting to talk to him about.
Working with the Bobcats has been amazing. I’d love to stay with the team in some type of capacity, but my contract is only through the end of the season. And with Sophia starting kindergarten in the fall, I’m not sure Niko will even need me after the season is up. Then there’s the job offer from Mark. It’s everything I’ve ever wanted. But that would mean I’d have to leave Green Bay. The thought of being away from the team isn’t as scary as the thought of being away from Niko and Sophia. I’ll never know what’s next for me if I don’t start asking the difficult questions.
I guess we’re jumping head first into deep conversations tonight.
“To be honest, I’m not sure how long I’ll be with you either. When I agreed to help, it was because of your injury and playoffs. I know you don’t want to burden your parents anymore, but Sophia will be starting school in the fall. I wasn’t sure if I’m going to be needed anymore. And the Bobcats only hired me short-term. I’m not even sure I’ll have a job anywhere after the summer.”
I keep the job offer in Denver to myself. Even though it’s always been my dream, I wasn’t as excited about the prospect as I thought I’d be. I’m finally starting to feel at home here in Wisconsin. But will I still feel that way if I don’t have a job with the Bobcats, or if Niko doesn’t need my help with Sophia? Maybe my parents were right when they called me a “hot mess,” because I definitely feel like one right now.
“You will always have a place with us.”
His words land harder than I’m sure he intended but there’s a tightness gathering in my throat and heat starts prickling behind my eyes.
Do not cry, Sadie.
