Ellie regards me for a second, her face going from amused to sympathetic in the blink of an eye. “Sadie.”
I shake my head and lift my hand. “Just forget it, Ellie.”
She grabs my hand and gives it a squeeze. “No. I’m not going to forget it. I know I put you in a difficult position, but I never meant to force you to move out. I was willing to help with the rent until you found a place of your own. If you’re uncomfortable at Niko’s, come stay with us.”
The thought of leaving Niko and Sophia’s hits like a punch to the gut. Ellie’s offer should have been comforting but instead has my stomach twisting into knots. Leaving Sophia, leavinghim,has me feeling like I’m falling off a cliff. My heart thuds against my ribs as if trying to tell her it’s a bad idea. The idea of distance makes me feel sick but it confirms one thing. I don’t want to take that job in Denver.
Not wanting Ellie to know just how terrible the idea of leaving them sounds to me, I choose to go the practical route. “Thanks, Ellie. But with Niko’s schedule, getting home so late and traveling, it just makes sense for me to stay there.”
Ellie nods. “Well, the offer stands. If after the season you need a place to stay, let me know.”
“Thanks.” Suddenly a new sense of dread fills me. I have no idea what I’m going to do after the season. This nanny gig was to help him during the playoffs. Will he need help duringthe summer? What about when school starts and preseason begins?
With so many unanswered questions, I decide it’s time to act like an adult.
“Can you take me home, please?”
Ellie smiles and then finally starts her car.
I’m not exactly sure what I’m going to say to Niko, but there are too many unknowns right now for me to stay quiet. I need to know what’s next for me. I moved away from home as soon as I could, going to school across the country at age eighteen. Ever since then, I’ve been trying to find my place. I’m not sure when it happened, but my heart is telling me it’s time to slow down. Find where I belong.
I’m finally ready to plant some roots.
The closer we get to Niko’s house, the clearer it becomes. I think I want my roots intertwined with his, no matter how scary that thought may be. And I don’t know what to do with that information.
Niko’s car is in the garage when I get home but the house is empty. Maybe they went for a walk on the property. It’s a beautiful May afternoon so I decide to wait for them on the back patio.
I lie back on one of the lounge chairs and close my eyes. The sun is warm on my cheeks and it brings a smile to my face. It’s far enough into spring now that the weather is getting warmer and plants are in bloom. I take a deep breath. The smell of fresh lilacs hits and my eyes snap open, looking for the source of the smell.
Just as I spot the lilac bushes lining the back of the houses, an engine roars in the distance. I put my hand over my eyes toblock the sun. An ATV comes into view and my pulse begins to quicken.
Sophia is sitting in front of Niko, a purple helmet hiding her face from view. If I had to guess, her smile is as wide as mine right now. She holds the handles as she steers the four-wheeler, Niko’s hands resting just next to hers on the outside. He is wearing a helmet too, a visor blocking his face.
They come to a stop just at the bottom of the patio. I stand and walk toward the stairs to meet them. Niko lifts Sophia off the ATV, and instead of rushing up to me like she usually does when she sees me, she hangs back and waits for her dad.
Huh. I wonder what that’s all about.
Niko removes his helmet first. His blond hair is a mess after their ride, and I’m itching to run my fingers through it to smooth it out. Next, he takes Sophia’s helmet off. He places them both on the seat of the four-wheeler then grabs Sophia’s hand.
Anxiety courses through my body as I take in the little girl walking up the steps, holding her dad’s hand. Her cheeks are blotchy and her eyes are red around the edges as if she’s been crying.
I look at Niko, concern washing over me.
She’s okay,he mouths silently.
His reassurance does little to make me feel better, but I put a smile on my face and squat down in front of Sophia.
“Hey, Sunshine. Did you have a fun day with your dad?”
Her lips curve at the edges, the tiniest of smiles playing on her lips. She leans in and hugs her dad’s leg but nods. “We had a picnic at the pond.”
I exaggerate my words to show how excited I am. “Oh my goodness! That sounds like so much fun! I didn’t even know you had a pond. Are there fish in there?”
My eyes glance up to Niko to see that he’s smiling nowtoo. I look back at Sophia and the full-toothed smile she wears has me breathing easier.
“Yes! Sometimes we go fishing and I catch bluegill and bass!”
It never ceases to amaze me how quickly kids can bounce back from things. I’m happy that whatever had Sophia crying earlier is in the past. Her excitement over fish that I know nothing about has me laughing.
