My eyes dart to the empty whiskey glasses on the table and then to the one he’s currently holding that’s half full. Connor doesn’t usually drink much during the season. Something about him definitely feels off tonight.
“I’m good.” He casually sips his whiskey, still avoiding eye contact.
My grip on his shoulder tightens, causing him to finally turn my way. He has a haunted look on his face I’ve never seen him wear before. Something in my gut is telling me not to leave my teammate and best friend behind tonight.
“You’re not good. We just won game seven, and round two of the playoffs starts in three days. You’re sitting here, half a bottle of whiskey deep, and the look on your face tells me you want to burn down the world.”
His eyes narrow at me but he doesn’t argue.
I nod my head toward the exit of the bar. “Let’s get out of here. We can share an Uber.”
Connor throws back the rest of his whiskey in one gulp then stands. He wobbles on his feet. I reach out to steady him but he pushes my hand away.
“I’m fine!” His voice is laced with anger; a tone he’s never used on me before.
I lift my hands like I’m surrendering. “Got it. You’re fine.”
We move through the bar to the exit. I nod at my teammates on my way out, but Connor keeps his head down the entire way. What the fuck is going on with him?
The ride to his apartment is silent. I don’t want to poke the bear, especially since he’s had so much to drink, but this isn’t Connor. We’re about a minute out from his apartment. If I’m gonna say something, I’m running out of time.
“I’m worried about you, man. What’s going on?”
“Leave it alone, Niko.”
The car slows as we approach the entrance of Connor’s apartment. He jumps out before the car has come to a complete stop, slamming the door behind him without another word.
Concern for my best friend consumes me the entire drive to my house. A thirty-minute ride feels like hours as I sit and ponder what the hell is going on with him. As we approach my house, I pull out my phone and shoot him a text.
I love you, brother.
The message shows as read instantly, but no response comes. It goes against all of my instincts as a captain, friend, and father to leave this alone. But I’m going to give him some space. For now.
Quietly, I make my way into the house. I texted Sadie as soon as I got into the locker room, letting her know we’d be celebrating in there and then heading to the bar. Her response was simple.
Sadie
I’ll tell Sophia you’ll see her in the morning. Be safe.
As much as I wanted to text her back and ask her to wait up so we could celebrate together, I remembered the boundaries we set in place and didn’t respond.
I’ve written off the possibility of falling in love and having a happy ending years ago. After everything that happened, thatstillhappens, with Sophia’s mother, I just figure it isn’t in the cards for me. I have long ago accepted the fact that being both a father and a hockey player was my destiny. As much as I may have dreamed of having a family and being a loving, devoted husband, I’ve come to terms with being alone. It’s easier on every level. This way, neither Sophia nor I ever have to go through that type of loss ever again if something doesn’twork out. It’s hard as hell, but I’ve adapted to the single parent lifestyle.
Then in walked Sadie.
She has turned my world completely upside down. She has infiltrated my every thought. I still dream of her on my lap, her lips pressed against mine. That moment changed everything. But that’s all I’ll ever get. One moment.
Normally, I’d get over myself and focus on hockey and Sophia. But with Sadie, she’s everywhere. She’s in my kitchen, cooking breakfast every morning for me and Sophia. She’s at the rink, leading my yoga and meditation sessions. She’s in every room of the house, her lavender scent leaving traces of her everywhere she goes. Hell, she’s even in my fucking dreams at night.
As much as I know I shouldn’t, I want the only woman I know I can’t have. My body is screaming for me to go to her. Although the rules have been set, it doesn’t do anything to lessen the pull I feel.
I ignore every instinct calling me to her and make my way to my bedroom. After I’ve changed out of my game day suit, I tiptoe back down the hallway to check on Sophia.
Slowly, I open the door. I take one step into the room and freeze. Sophia and Sadie are sound asleep together in Sophia’s bed. Sadie’s arm is wrapped protectively around my daughter as she rests her head in the crook of Sadie’s arm. Sophia is clutching her purple goat and her arm is spread over Sadie’s abdomen.
I’ve fallen asleep with Sophia like that hundreds of times before. But seeing them like this. At peace. Together. It is shaking every piece of resolve I have left.
I continue my movements until I’m standing next to the bed. Their chests rise and fall as they sleep peacefully. I’m sure Sadie would prefer sleeping in her own bed, but I can’t bring myself to disturb the two of them.
