“Shut up.”
We both laugh and ease back onto the couch cushions. I look over to Ellie, who is staring off into space.
“I waited for Niko after practice.”
Ellie turns her head to look at me. “Oh yeah?”
“Yeah. I felt bad about shutting down and not helping him. He does have a lot going on. It’s my job to help him and that’s what I want to do. During practice, I ran out to the store and got a few things for him and Sophia that should help with their sleep. Hopefully.”
Ellie reaches over and squeezes my hand. “That was really sweet of you, Sadie.”
I shrug. “It’s my job.”
She shakes her head at me. “No, Sadie. Going to the store for one of the players is not your job. You did that out of the kindness of your heart.”
I let the words hang between us. Ellie must sense that I don’t want to talk about it anymore and she leans over to unmute the movie.
Neither of us say another word about the Niko situation throughout the rest of the movie, but I can hardly concentrate on what’s happening on screen.
Something about Niko and Sophia calls to me. I can’t quite explain it. Maybe it’s the fact that I know what it’s like to pour from an empty cup, even if I was only a kid while doingit. Or maybe it’s the fact that I know what it feels like to be a kid without a parent. Mine didn’t physically leave like Sophia’s did, but they were just as absent—especially with me.
I’m fully invested in making their lives easier in any possible way that I can. Whether that be buying them sleep aids or hanging out with Sophia during a game. Iwantto help them.
Ellie is right, though. I shouldn’t have shut down like I did. Niko can read people and he’s definitely not judgmental like my parents. It’s what makes him such an amazing captain. That’s all he was doing in my office before practice.
Reading me like a damn book.
Playoffs are in two weeks. The end of the season will be here before I know it. All I have to do is get through the next couple of months without losing my cool every time I’m near Niko.
How hard could it be?
Over the past week, Sophia’s sleep has been slowly improving, which means I’ve been getting more and more sleep as the days go by. The lavender oils and magnesium lotion Sadie gave us seem to be helping, but Sophia still ends up in my bed sometimes.
Ineedto figure out childcare. My mom has been searching high and low trying to help me find someone, but we still haven’t found one I fully trust.
Will I ever? Not likely.
Luckily, we have an afternoon game today so bringing Sophia to the rink to give my parents a break wasn’t such a hard decision. She won’t be staying up past her bedtime and there’s a childcare room at the rink I can utilize.
Swinging our hands between us, Sophia and I walk across the parking lot to the players’ entrance at the back of the building.
“Why can’t I watch the game today, Daddy? I don’t want to sit in that daycare with all those babies. It’ssoboring!”
Again with the “boring” shit. I need to read that parenting book I picked up last week at the bookstore to see how long this phase is supposed to last. I’m over it.
“Sophia, I can’t put you in one of the family boxes without someone from our family with you. You’re too young to be up there alone.”
We walk through the door, and I nod at the security guard who always works our entrance on game days. He holds his hand up to Sophia for a high five and she gives a less than enthusiastic attempt. I mouth,sorry,and continue walking toward the childcare room.
“I still don’t know why Mummo or Pappa can’t come.”
Sophia is not normally this combative or whiny. It’s another new development. I’m left wondering if it’s developmentally appropriate or from her mom being gone for so long. Probably both.
Stopping, I get down at Sophia’s level so I can look her in the eyes. “Rakas, I know how much you love Mummo and Pappa. But you’ve been hanging out with them every day while I go to work. It’s Sunday and they deserve a little break, don’t you think?”
In the most adorable way possible, she taps her finger against her chin, thinking quite seriously about what I’m telling her. “Maybe. They are pretty old.”
I bark out a laugh. “They’re notthatold.”
