“Yeah, super charming. Too bad he’s engaged.”
I feel Ellie shrug. “It’s fiction. We’re allowed to suspend our beliefs for a little bit. And I’m choosing to believe this is charming.”
Laughing at her, I rest my head on hers. “You’re weird, you know that.”
“I got it from you,” she says while wrapping her arm around me.
Pulling back, mocking offense, I gasp. “Ouch! Are you saying I’m odd, Ellie Montgomery?”
She sits up and reaches for the remote. “I most definitely am. But I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Ellie mutes the movie and then turns her body, pulling her feet up underneath her so she’s facing me.
“I wanted to ask how everything went today. I think some of our guys are really going to benefit from working with you. You should’ve seen Niko today. His head was not in the game and he almost got seriously injured.”
“What do you mean he almost got hurt?” My voice comes out an octave higher than normal and much louder than I intend. But there’s no hiding my concern. I heard rumblings from some of the guys that he had a tough practice, but no one said anything about him getting hurt. Neither did he when we met after practice.
Ellie grabs her wineglass off the coffee table and takes asip before continuing. “He’s all right. But he made a mistake that a veteran captain should not be making. He took a hit that probably would’ve been a lot worse if it was against an actual opponent in a game. He’s lucky it was his own teammate in practice.”
I grab my own glass of wine and down the rest of it in one gulp. He didn’t seem that off at our meeting before practice.Iwas the one who got all freaked out. Except…he did look like he wanted to say something before he left. Oh my god. Did I have something to do with him being distracted today on the ice? No way.You’re not that special, Sadie.
Ellie’s hand touches my arm, bringing me back to the present. “Hey. What is it, Sadie? You just got all pale. You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
Reaching across to the coffee table, I set my glass down. I don’t want to divulge that I’m worried I had something to do with Niko’s poor performance. I also don’t want to dive into my own trauma with Ellie again, so I choose to vaguely explain what’s been going on with Niko at home. When I come to think of it, his lack of sleep probably did have something to do with him being unfocused at practice. It might’ve been the exact reason.
“Niko told me something before practice that might’ve caused his lack of concentration.” It’s not my story to tell, but I’m also part of the Bobcats staff now so it’s literally my job to make sure they’re healthy and safe.
Ellie looks taken aback by my statement for a moment, but then she nods and urges me on. “Okay. Is he okay? Is it Sophia?” Worry lines crease her eyes as she waits for me to respond.
“He asked me for some help with meditation. I guess he’s not getting much sleep lately. He told me a little bit about what’s going on with Sophia. He’s actually really hard on himself in regards to being a parent.”
Ellie nods, letting me know she’s listening, but doesn’t interrupt me so I keep going.
“Well, I told him that just because he’s a successful athlete doesn’t mean he can’t have struggles like every other parent. He asked how I knew so much about parenting, and I mentioned I basically raised my siblings.”
Ellie finishes her wine and sets it down on the coffee table. “You don’t usually like to talk about your family, even with me. You keep that part of your life pretty close to the chest.”
“I know.”
We sit together in silence. Both of us are unsure of what exactly that means. I’m the first to crack when I blurt out how I panicked and shut down.
“Which is exactly why I shut down and pretended I had to leave for a meeting. I basically kicked him out of my office. Before you give me hell, I know. It was dramatic and uncalled for. You know what it’s been like for me with my family and relationships. They all end up getting rid of me. I’m never enough. Not for my parents. Not for my exes. I think I panicked because Niko was so easily able to get me to open up, and I was afraid of what I might do or say next. And I definitely don’t need him figuring me out and deciding I’m not worth his time or friendship.”
Ellie squeezes my hand reassuringly. “Sadie. Niko is not that type of person. And those people from your past are all wrong about you. They’re small-minded and, quite frankly, stupid for not embracing how amazing you are as a person. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”
I bury my own face in my hands to hide from my own shame. “I hate that I still let those people control my emotions sometimes.”
Ellie pulls my hand away from my face. “Look at me.”
I shake my head like a petulant child and refuse to open my eyes.
“Sadie.”
At Ellie’s tone, I peek my eyes over my fingers and she’s giving me her best supportive smile.
“You are not the reason your parents are not in your life. You’re also not the reason your past relationships haven’t worked.Theydidn’t understand you.They,especially your parents, are blinded by what they think success is. Don’t sell yourself short. And don’t group Niko in with any of them. That’s not fair to him. Or you.”
At her words, I sit up straight and nod. “You’re right.”
“I know.” Ellie shrugs her shoulders nonchalantly.
