Ellie gives me a sympathetic look, but quickly replaces it with indifference. She is a badass but she also cares more about the players than any other coach I’ve ever had.
Turning my attention back to my head coach, I nod at Lincoln. “Sorry, Coach. Just a rough night.”
He eyes me skeptically, “You sure that’s it?”
“Yes, Coach.”
We stare at each other until he finally picks up the whistle hanging around his neck and signals the guys to come circle up. Before they reach us he looks back to me. “I hope that’s it. We need you at your best, Captain. I’m counting on you.”
The rest of the team joins us as Lincoln goes over the next set of drills we’ll be doing.
As captain of this team it’s my job to make sure everyone is set and ready to perform. I need to figure it the fuck out. These guys depend on me. And I sure as shit am not gonna let some brown-eyed beauty keep me from doing my job.
After the shittiest practice of my career, I take the world’s longest shower. I’m the last one in the locker room, so I take my time getting dressed. My plan is to head straight home to Sophia and spend some quality time with her.
Except, as soon as I step out of the room, there’s a five-foot-two ball of happiness waiting for me on the other side of the hallway.
“You didn’t think you were gonna sneak out of herewithout coming to see me, did you, Cap?” Sadie’s smile is soft. Kind. Much better than the grim line on her face she left me with earlier.
Walking slowly, I stop a few feet away from her and lean against the wall opposite her. “I wasn’t sure you’d still be here. I don’t usually take this long after practice.”
Sadie eyes me suspiciously, but doesn’t say anything.
“It’s not a problem. After kicking you out earlier, the least I could do is wait for you now. Come on. Let’s go chat about meditation and what we can do to get our captain some good sleep tonight.”
I follow Sadie into her office, and she seems much calmer than she did earlier. She’s making eye contact with me again, and it immediately puts me at ease. When I left her earlier, she was looking anywhere but at me. I don’t know what spooked her, but I never want to do it again.
Once we’re both seated on the floor, I lean back onto my hands and wait for her to take the lead.
She mirrors my position, much more relaxed now and then she dives in. “It sounds to me like Sophia is struggling with all the changes happening around her and finds comfort in being close to you.” I nod along as she talks because she’s spot on. “There’s nothing wrong with that. If anything, it tells me how good of a father you are.”
Always doubting myself when it comes to parenthood, I shake my head. “I’m not sure about that.”
Sadie doesn’t miss a beat. “I am. She comes to you in the middle of the night because you’re her safe place. You said it yourself, she sleeps just fine once she’s near you.”
The realization strikes me all at once and for the first time, I believe the compliment being thrown at me. I sit up, then run a hand through my hair that’s grown out a bit at the moment.
“I guess when you put it like that it makes sense. I want her to feel safe but I also need to sleep.”
Sadie nods, then stands to grab something from her duffle bag that’s against the wall. “I ran out while you guys were practicing and grabbed a few things that might help.”
She scoots her mat closer to me so we’re side by side, and then starts handing me various items out of a beige tote. The first is a box with a picture of an oval-shaped object I think I’ve seen at my parents’ house before.
“That looks familiar, what’s that?’ I ask while pointing to the box.
“This is an ultrasonic diffuser. I got you some lavender essential oil to use with it. The lavender has a variety of beneficial effects including helping to improve sleep quality and it can also reduce anxiety.”
I’ve definitely heard that lavender can help with sleep but I’ve never really believed in that kind of stuff. I’m willing to try anything at this point, though. The mention of anxiety has me curious. I look up to Sadie and see her watching me.
She reaches into her bag and pulls out an identical box to the one I’m holding.
Sadie must sense the confusion in my expression because before I can ask, she explains. “I think both you and Sophia can benefit from using one at night.”
She reaches into her bag again and this time she pulls out a tube of lotion.
My eyebrows raise in confusion. “Lotion?” It seems like a very odd gift for someone having trouble sleeping.
“This is magnesium lotion. You put it directly on muscles that normally feel tension, like your neck, shoulders, legs. Both you and Sophia can apply this before bed, and it’s known to promote good sleep too.”
