Sure, he could play the part of caregiver, but it was hollow, like I was nothing more than an item on his to-do list that needed to be checked off.
“Yeah. I am serious,” Harrison finally replied. “I’m sorry, Gwen.”
Tears filled my eyes, but I refused to let them fall, sniffling and blinking them back. How could I have been so blind?
I should’ve known better. He’d shown me who he was back in Aspen. While his reasons for leaving abruptly made sense once he finally explained them, at the very least he could’ve reached out to let me know why at the time. He’d playacted our relationship, making himself available to me when things were stable, but now that things were complicated, he was ready to bolt yet again.
I’d opened myself up to him for nothing. An aching sadness ripped through me at how blind I’d been.
“You need to go.”
Harrison looked at me like I’d slapped him. He stood up so abruptly that the chair wobbled behind him.
My heart sank even further as I realized how eager he was to go. Deep down, I’d hoped he’d at least fight for me a little. Maybe apologize for being thick-headed and promise he’d at least try to be a better partner. Not just for me, forus.
“That’s what you want?”
No, I wanted to scream at him.I want you to want to stay. I want you to want me even when it’s messy or hard.
“Based on what you’ve told me, I don’t think there’s any other choice,” I replied evenly.
My hurt was shifting to anger. At myself, at him, at how things were turning out yet again.
“Fine,” Harrison replied. “I’ll go, then.”
He stared at me for a beat longer, and I willed myself to remain expressionless. If he could face the end of our relationship without so much as a frown, so could I.
I stupidly clung to hope as he walked toward the door. There was still a chance, in the ten steps it took to cross the room, that he could figure out how wrong he was.
Nine steps…eight…
“If you leave,” I told him, “it’s over between us.”
Harrison paused, and my heart leapt. He turned to me slowly.
“I know.”
The door clicked shut, and the tears finally won.
26
GWEN
Ihadn’t really wanted to go to lunch with Susan and Denise on the day I resigned from Ashford Jets, but resisting both of them at the same time was impossible.
I’d packed up my office quickly because I wanted to keep gossipy conversations with my colleagues to a minimum, especially because so many people kept asking about the black eye and cuts on my cheek. Talking about the accident just made me think about Harrison, and I didn’t have any additional bandwidth to spare on a man who didn’t care about me.
My tenure at the company had always had an expiration date, so it wasn’t a big surprise that I was on my way out. Still, I wasn’t in the mood to pretend like I was in a happy headspace after what I’d been through.
For the past few days, I’d spent my time revisiting Scarlet’s breakup era albums in a stained hoodie and bleach-dotted leggings. Sarah’s trip had been extended, which meant I couldreallycommit to the couch without needing to justify it to her. She’d sent me cute photos of her with Mr. Hot Park Rangerholding various creatures and plants, and I was happy at least one of us was in a good place romantically.
“What are we in the mood for?” Denise asked me as we walked out of the building and into the bright sunshine.
I clawed through my purse for my sunglasses like I was a vampire. I was dressed for the role as well, in funereal black.
“I’m fine with whatever,” I said. “My appetite’s been off lately.”
“You’ve got start-up stress,” Susan agreed. “But you’ll be fine, you’re a crackerjack. We know what you’re capable of.”
