No. The truth is that I dreamed of having someone raise me who also valued success, strength, and support. I dreamed of those mani-pedis with someone I could share my dreams with. I dreamed of mother-daughter bonding activities, the sorts I ended up doing with Ivy when she was younger—from arts and crafts to going with her to try on prom dresses.
For the first time, I wonder if I should invite my little sister out to Vegas to stay with me for a few days. We could get mani-pedis together and go shopping and fill our days with the sorts of activities we both missed out on with our mother.
It’s not so much that it’s too late to change any of that now with my mother. It’s more the fact that she doesn’t want to change anything. And not knowing how much time she has left leaves me feeling like I should give her what she wants.
I blow out a breath.
“Well, have fun tonight,” I finally say.
“Thank you.” She ends the call, and that’s that.
I called. I tried to express myself to her. I failed.
But let’s be honest here. I failed because she made me fail. She didn’t open herself up to any sort of commentary at all.She wants to pretend it doesn’t exist, and who am I to mess that up if those are what could amount to her final wishes?
It’s her life to live. She’s the one who never wanted to be close.
I don’t even realize I’m crying until Maverick thumbs away a tear from my cheek. I glance up at him. “Your call went better than mine.”
He offers a sad sort of smile, and he walks around the swing and pulls me into a hug. He holds me tightly for a few beats, and it feels good here in his arms. Better than I was expecting it to feel.
Necessary, even.
I pull it together. After all, I’m the caretaker, and right now, I have a baby in my charge along with a man who’s suffering in much the same way I am.
Maybe my mother is rejecting my need to feel like I’m doingsomethingto help, but since she never was the caretaker in the family the way moms tend to be, I took that role upon myself. And I’ll continue to do that.
To that end, I text Archer once Maverick lets me go and moves back around the swing.
Me:Thinking about you, little bro.
I text Ford next.
Me:You doing okay with the news about Mom?
I text Madden, Liam, and Ivy just to check in. It feels more personal than our group chat. I’ll see Dex tonight when I drop off Jack.
That’s it. I touched base with all six of my siblings. If Mom won’t let me take care of her, I’ll do my best to take care of her children.
And as my eyes meet Maverick’s over the swing, I can’t help but think maybe I’ve finally met someone who can take care of me, too.
CHAPTER 30: Maverick Jennings
Emotions
I bounce on the balls of my feet as I pull my arm back and throw a football five yards to my first target.
I get another ball and repeat the drill to my second target.
My aim is on point today, and I’m ready for this. The stands are starting to fill with fans as we finish our warm-ups. Some have been outside for hours drinking and grilling in the parking lot, while others just arrived and grabbed their first beer.
I don’t care about any of them. I only care about the woman watching from the owner’s suite wearing a red Aces jersey withJennings 1on the back.
It’s a surprise when I see that, and I can’t seem to take my eyes off of her. Goddamn, she looksgoodwith my name on her back.
It pulses an unexpected warmth in my chest.
I haven’t seen her all day. Game days aren’t like practice days. She isn’t allowed on the field, and I stayed at the team hotel last night. I left the hotel earlier than the rest of my teammates so I could get into the locker room and do some deep breathing. I needed to get into the right headspace.
