I can’t exactly tell her that I was there just a few days ago, so I don’t. “As soon as I can, Mom. What shows are you watching?”
“I’m really into theseReal Housewives. Have you seen them?”
I can’t help a small chuckle at that. “No, I haven’t.”
She launches into the latest scandal—something of which she recites every detail. It gives me hope that maybe she’s turning a corner, that maybe I can have her back, that maybe she’ll get better. But the hard truth is that she won’t. That’s just what this illness does.
If I can get moments like this, though…well, that has to be enough. And so I cling to every word she speaks as she recounts her show.
“Susan is telling me it’s nearly dinner time, so I better go,” she says.
“I love you, Mom. And just so you know, you’re the very best mother I ever could’ve asked for.”
“Oh, Mav. That’s such a sweet thing to say. I love you, too, honey.”
We end the call, and I feel good about the words I just said to her.
I just had no idea as I said them that they would be the last I ever spoke to her.
CHAPTER 29: Everleigh Bradley
The Best Mother
I feel myself tearing up at his words to his mother. I’m glad I convinced him to call her. I’m not sure he would’ve thought to do it if I hadn’t brought it up, and by the same token, despite the shudders bolting through my chest, I’m not sure I would’ve had the nerve to call my own mother without him beside me.
“Everleigh?” my mother answers when it’s my turn.
“Hi, Mom.” I start to cry. Ah, fuck. I’m supposed to be holding it together for my mom—supposed to be holding it together in front of Maverick, too—and I’m failing on both accounts. “How are you feeling?” I ask, my voice trembling as I try my best to ward off the emotion. I focus on continuing to push Jack in his swing.
“I’m…well, to be perfectly honest, I’ve been better. I assume you’ve heard the news?”
“I have, and I’m sorry.”
“We’re not telling anyone, okay? I just…I don’t want the looks the ladies will give me. I don’t want the sympathy. We’re just plowing forward. I have a life to live, and everything’s okay.”
Isn’t that what got us here? Plowing forward, pretending everything is okay…
I can’t imagine she didn’t feelsomesort of change in her health. No pain in her breasts, no fatigue, not anything at all. It doesn’t add up, but knowing how vain she is and hearing her words about plowing forward tells me that she probably knew but didn’t care to do anything about it.
She had no interest in knowing the truth—or at least in finding out sooner so that this could’ve been identified and treated earlier. And who knows what path she might’ve had if it had been? Maybe I wouldn’t feel scared that this is the last conversation I’ll ever have with her as we all sit by waiting for her time to run out.
But knowing her the way I do, she never would’ve voluntarily taken treatment. She’s avoided any sort of medical doctor for years and years. She only goes to cosmetic doctors these days.
“Is there anything I can do?” I ask.
“No,” she says. She doesn’t sound sad or scared, but on the other hand, she also doesn’t sound like she’s in good spirits or joking.
She’s always been hard to read. Why would this be any different?
“I have the Unity Gala tonight and appointments to get to, dear,” she says. “You know how it goes. Spa, salon, stylists. The three most important S words.”
Right. Not strength, self-respect, or self-awareness. Not support, service, or selflessness. Not success or security. But spa, salon, and stylists.
It’s actually sort of incredible that my siblings and I turned out to be success stories given our roots. Maybe we all have done our best to navigate away from them. Maybe this position here in Vegas was always meant to get me out of Chicago. It feels like I’m stumbling through it in a lot of ways, but it also feels like I’m holding my own and starting to build the base of my own company. It feels like I’m working hard to achieve my dreams. Success, strength, and support. Those are my three S words.
“Of course.” I clear my throat. Is this where I tell her I love her and don’t want her to leave me too soon? Is this where I say she’s the best mom I could ever dream of having, the way Maverick said it to his mother?
Is that even true?
