His lips part, his eyebrows twitching. “What?”
“I lied when I said we could just do this and be friends and it wouldn’t change things. It’s changed everything.” My chest deflates as I let out a deep breath. “If you don’t know what you want, if you’re not sure that I’m what you want, or if you’re going to continue to live in your fear of letting me down or failing me, then that’s all it will ever be. And I don’t want that.”
“I know,” he says after a few moments pass. His voice is low and hoarse and a wave of pain washes over his eyes. “I want you, Willow, but I don’t know how to let go of the fear.”
“And that’s okay,” I whisper, a sad smile tugging on the corners of my lips. “I don’t think that fear is something that ever goes away. It’s just a risk you have to be willing to take and you have to be the one to figure out when you’re ready for that. Not me, not anyone else. You. You’ll come to realize that eventually.”
The muscle in his jaw tightens. “And if I’m too late?”
My heart clenches and the corners of my eyes burn. “Then what we had together was all we were ever meant to have.”
“Goddammit, Willow,” he breathes, his tone pained as my name catches in his throat. Without another word, he pulls me back to him, his mouth seeking mine.
I can’t pull away so instead, I reach for him, holding my body flush against his. My arms wrap around his back, reveling in the way he smells, the way he feels, the way he kisses me. I know this will be the last time. He wanted to be the one to pull away from me, and I know in my heart that I have to let him go too.
If Jace Miller is supposed to be mine, then fate will see to it.
His lips melt against mine and I allow myself a moment to savor it. To memorize him. He drinks me in, draining the oxygen from my lungs before I find myself pulling away from him.
“When you know, come find me, okay?”
He purses his lips, his eyes glossy with unshed tears. “Okay,” he whispers, swallowing hard as he dips his chin.
His hands fall away from my face as I step back from him. This isn’t how I want to see him. Hurting and confused. This isn’t just my doing. He didn’t think twice about breaking my heart tonight, so I can’t get hung up on the way he watches me right now, like he’s resisting the urge to reach out to me again.
I force myself to turn and head through the house, making my way to the front door. Grabbing my coat from the hook, I slip my arms inside and hastily wipe the tears from my face as I slip my feet into my shoes.
“Willow, wait,” he rasps as he steps into the foyer. He looks utterly broken as he stares back at me, running a hand through his hair. “Please stay. I don’t—this isn’t what I want. I want you.”
My heart stutters. I want to go to him, but I know I can’t. My mind has to be the one to decide, not my heart, even if it’s the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make. “I need you to think about it for more than two minutes. I don’t want it to be a hasty, emotional decision.”
“Willow.”
Standing my ground, I shake my head. “Please, Jace. I need you to be certain.”
Conflict consumes his expression, but he finally nods, stepping closer. “Okay.”
He falls silent as I turn around, but the door doesn’t close as I step outside. The creak of the porch floorboards lets me know he’s following after me. He doesn’t say a word as he follows me down to my car. His hand grips the door, holding it open for me as I get inside. He lingers for a moment, his gaze locked on mine before he finally pushes it shut.
Turning the ignition, I shift the car into reverse and slowly back out of the driveway and onto the street. Like a small child or a puppy, Jace follows me down the driveway and stops to standon the sidewalk as I shift the car into drive. My eyes burn with tears as they begin to spill down my cheeks. There’s an ache in the center of my chest as I pull away.
Glancing in my rearview mirror, I see Jace as he walks out into the center of the street, stopping and staring in my direction, watching as I drive away from him.
And as much as I don’t want to, I keep driving until I can’t see him anymore.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
JACE
The cold fall air wraps around me like a cloak as I sit on my back porch, staring out at the yard. I blow out a breath, numbness prickling the edges of my skin. I shake my head at myself, the defeat deflating my lungs. I let Willow walk away. I followed her car down to the street and stood there like an idiot. She told me she needed me to take the time to figure things out.
And I can’t help but feel like I’ve already let too much time pass.
She never should have had a reason to question what I want.
I swallow hard, my thumb hovering over the call button as the screen of my phone shines brightly from my lap. I used to love how quiet nights are here in the Hollow. Tonight, it feels too quiet. Too heavy. The silence weighs on my chest, pressing against my ribcage.
I haven’t had a real conversation with my mother in a few months. Every call I’ve dodged with a quick text conversation instead. I shouldn’t be afraid to call her right now, but I am.
