My friends brought food up to my room, and the five of us ate around the coffee table. We had invited Trysten to join us, but he was planning to stay with Anders at the Center.
I had explained what happened with Cole and shared all the details. They all realized the severity of it before changing the topics to our upcoming break. While my friends talked about their vacations, Ciara and I scrolled through The Link, finding photos and posts from today and our team’s win.
There was a video of Cole getting tackled. Watching it again somehow made it even worse than it was in person. Maybe it was because I knew what happened. His head clipped the edge of the water ring. The soft-shell helmet didn’t protect his forehead.
Ciara had chuckled when we came across a photo of Anders pointing his stick at me. You couldn’t see who he was pointing it at, but he had that classic smirk pasted on his face, his eyes alight with amusement, and his high from the win. Annoyingly, I couldn’t stop the laugh and smile that tumbled out of me. My friends left soon after we were done scrolling, allowing Aolyn and me to get ready for bed.
Now, lying here in the dark, I secure my music patches on, turning on a playlist I use when I’m stressed. Even the calming melody can’t soothe my racing thoughts. Glaring at the shadows playing across the ceiling, I beg the gods to let me sleep. Unfortunately, no matter how much I try, I can’t.
My mind floods with a relentless barrage of tasks yet to be completed. Next week marks the deadline for my final assignments, and I can’t shake the excitement of heading home. More than anything, I just need a reset. I’ll have to beg Lieutenant Piori for more flight lessons when I’m home.
Despite the skills I’ve already mastered flying the schooltransports, I can’t shake the thought of making a mistake and causing a fatal disaster. It’s a ridiculous fear; the transport’s autopilot is designed to kick in long before an error like that can happen, yet flashes of the console screaming errors at me keep playing in my head.
After what feels like an eternity of grasping and clawing for rest, I decide I just need to move. I slip into my swimsuit and tie my Nakata corset in place before layering my loungewear and cloak around me.
The rugs dampen the sound of my footsteps as I navigate the dimly lit dorm corridors. Soft, ambient lights guide me until I reach the glass doors at the entrance, their slicing noise piercing the quiet. A rush of cool evening air greets me.
I wind my way through the dense forest, following the hidden trail to the lake. In front of me, my breath is visible in little puffs of white. The canopy overhead makes the trail shadowed, only occasionally illuminated by the silvery glow from the moons high above. Once I reach the water’s edge, I undress quickly, feeling the bite of the breeze, and dive into the warm water.
The water soothes the last of my nerves and restless thoughts as I swim slowly toward the center of the lake. Around me, the pulsing hum of the planet resonates through me, synchronizing with the rhythm of my own heartbeat. The small island emerges like a shadow as I reach the shoreline. It’s easy to find the shallow ledge acting as a natural seat.
“Can’t sleep?” Anders asks, his voice conveying how tired he is, the words cutting through the stillness of the night. I startle momentarily before regaining my composure. It feels like he’s a shadow, always lingering nearby, sneaking up on me.
Even in the dead of night, here he is. I keep my gaze fixed on the calm water, unwilling to turn and acknowledge him. Not because I’m upset with him, but because whatever is going on between us feels—big. Like it has the opportunity to change my entire life, and I still haven’t come to terms with it.
“I just needed to clear my head. Swimming helps,” I reply, drawing in a deep breath and centering myself. “Is Cole okay?” He is silent for a long minute.
“My mother had to leave,” he finally says, his voice detached but laced with an underlying pain. It’s intentional—him letting me see this side of him. “But Cole won’t be returning to school after break.” I can hear him shuffling, then feel the water ripple beside me as he drops in, creating a small splash.
Maybe it’s the magic of the moonlight, or the fact it’s the middle of the night and this feels like another dream—or perhaps I’ve lost my damn mind—but I have to fight the urge to reach out and hold him.
He sighs and leans back, closing his eyes to the world, and for a moment, I’m struck by the emotions playing on his face, so openly available to me. We sit in silence, the minutes stretching into what feels like hours, neither of us moving or speaking, simply being. The warm water laps against our bodies, shielding us from the crisp air.
Overhead, a flapping bird’s wings distracts me, and I follow its path until it vanishes into the dense forest on the opposite shore. My body begins to surrender to the pull of sleep, and drowsiness pulls me down. With a yawn, I turn to face Anders, whose features are finally relaxed.
His eyes remain closed; dark lashes fanned out against his cheekbones, the image of serenity that almost makes me want to reach out and brush his hair back. I’d almost believe he was asleep if it weren’t for the hint of a smile that pulls at his lips.
“What?” he asks, still in a dreamy haze, his eyes sealed shut.
“I’m going to bed,” I announce softly. Exhaustion tugs at me, begging me to surrender right here. Anders hums in response, crossing his arms over his chest.
“Okay, see you tomorrow,” he murmurs lazily. I almost ask why he’s going to let me leave in the dark, but decide against it. He needs the quiet, not another burden.
As I prepare to rise from the natural stone shelf that we’ve been using as our seats, I feel a gentle pressure on my wrist. I look down to find his fingers wrapped around me, igniting a peculiar sense of belonging that I can’t quite explain. Perhaps it’s just familiarity since we’re together so frequently.
“Thanks for today.” His blue eyes finally meet mine. The mutedglow of the moonlight catches the flecks of silver in his irises, and I can’t help but lose myself briefly in them.
His thumb brushes lightly against the sensitive skin on the inside of my wrist, sending a delightful, soothing warmth flooding through my body. “What for?”
“For coming to the game. For helping Cole.”
I can’t help but chuckle, rolling my eyes dramatically. “I didn’t come for you,” I tease. His lips quirk up as his gaze settles on me, with amusement dancing in his eyes.
“Sure. Whatever you need to tell yourself.”
I roll my eyes again, breaking free from his grasp, and fall into the water. “You’re insufferable.” I swim in place. “Don’t fall asleep out here. Your drowning would really bring down the calming vibe of this place.”
His laughter resonates through me, pausing my backward momentum.
