“You make it sound like I’m getting married or something,” I said. I played with the seam of my dress, wishing I could go home and change out of it. I didn’t mind wearing dresses in general, but my mom picked out my dress for tonight and made such a big fuss about it that I finally gave in even thoughI didn’t love it on myself. “It was just some dumb high school graduation. Everybody graduates.”
Charlie shook his head. “Not everybody.”
I appreciated the sentiment, but his words didn’t help me at all. Sure, not everyone in the world graduated, but basically everyone at Bayshore did. Dropping out or failing any classes wasn’t even seen as a remote possibility, let alone an option. The closest I’d ever seen anyone come to that was Sabrina, who made it through all of tenth grade by the skin of her teeth. It might have been different at Falcon High where Charlie went to school, but even so I doubted there were that many people dropping out.
“You know what I meant,” I said. “It’s not just my special day. There’s like 300 people in my year.”
“Just because the day is special to 300 people doesn’t mean it can’t still be special to you,” Charlie said. He pulled out of the parking spot and turned onto the main road. He tapped his hands on the steering wheel twice, which I knew was a habit of his when he was thinking. We sat in silence for a good minute while he did so, then he made such an abrupt left turn that I was basically slammed into the car door. Charlie looked at me with a determined look in his eyes. “Sorry—I just realized where we should go.”
nine
“The lake?”I asked. I jumped out of the car and looked around in confusion. Sure, walking along the boardwalk and sand was fun, but it wasn’t something particularly special.
“Come with me,” Charlie said, tilting his head to the left. I still didn’t understand what was going on, but I forced myself to walk after him. He led me down the boardwalk for a while, but then the wooden path eventually ended where some rocks jutted out into the lake. Most people didn’t walk farther than this because the sand slowly faded into the forest, but Charlie didn’t slow down at all. We walked for what felt like miles, but when we finally arrived at our destination, I could see why it was so special: it was a small bay with a private section of the beach that could barely be seen from the main area. The waves lapped against the shores and crickets could be heard in the night sky, making me feel like I was listening to an ASMR video.
Charlie headed straight for a small gazebo-like structure. When I got closer, I realized it was actually a wooden swing, similar to the one I had on my porch. He sat down on the far end and gestured for me to sit beside him. It felt like a bad idea for some reason, but I couldn’t think of a good enough argument against it. As he continued to stare at me with wide, innocenteyes, I finally forced myself forward and sat down on the other end of the swing, making sure to stick to my side as much as possible and leave some space between us.
“It’s so beautiful out here,” I murmured. The sun was setting on the horizon, turning the surface of the water a fiery red. I could see tiny lights on the other side, blinking in the night sky.
“I found this place when I was younger,” Charlie said. “It’s always been one of my favorite places. I’ve never shown it to anyone else... not even Matt.”
My stomach felt like it was in knots, and tears burned at the back of my eyes. Was I really the first person Charlie had ever brought out here? I wondered what made him decide that, what made him choose me. For a moment, I allowed myself the crazy thought that he brought me here because he felt the same way I did about him. But I only entertained that for a second before pushing it out of my mind and smiling at him. He looked so happy just sitting there, as if this place right here was where he belonged. I’d never seen him so in his element.
“Thank you for showing me,” I said. “This was the best surprise ever.”
Charlie sighed and looked out over the water.
“I remember the day I graduated,” he said. He made it sound like it was forever ago like the past year had been a century instead. “It felt like everything was ramping up to that moment, and then when it finally happened... it almost felt boring.”
“I know exactly what you mean,” I said. I rested my arm along the back of the swing so I was basically facing him, and allowed myself to speak my mind without worrying about my image or what he might think of me. “I feel like this is all I’ve been focused on for so long. It’s like... I don’t even know what comes next.”
“But maybe that’s the fun of it,” Charlie said. “The not knowing. For the first time in your life, everything isn’t just set out for you.”
I snorted. “It basically is. I work all summer, then I go to college. After college, I go to grad school. And then I get a job and live the same boring life that everyone else has.”
“Maybe,” Charlie said. “But maybe not.”
“Have you met my parents? This isn’t exactly optional.”
“Everything is optional if you try hard enough.”
I rested my head against the side of the swing and sighed. “Were you nervous about going to college?”
“Nah.”
“Really?” I asked. I couldn’t decide whether I should be surprised by the answer or not. “Not even a little bit?”
“College is just the next step,” he said. “A new adventure. I missed being here with my family, but I knew it was about time I tried something new.”
Although I tried to give off the sense that I didn’t care about much, I’d honestly been scared the entire time I was applying to colleges, not knowing which one would be the right fit for me. It seemed like such a huge decision, one that would determine the rest of my life. And even though I had finally made up my mind, part of me still felt like I was waiting for something to happen. Like everything was still up in the air. I was trying to push the fear away, but every now and then, it crept its way back in and made me wonder whether I was doing the right thing.
“You’re going to be okay, Madison,” Charlie said, as if he were reading my mind. “It might seem scary now, but I know you, and I know there’s nothing you can’t do.”
There was a softness to his voice that made me feel closer to him than I ever had before. Maybe it was the fact that I was sharing something with him that I couldn’t admit to anyone,even Violet: that somewhere, deep inside of me, I was just as scared as everyone else.
He slid closer to me, slowly but surely, moving until his leg brushed against mine. I felt a tiny electric shock as he did so, but I tried not to let it show. I tried not to pull away.
“You have something on your face,” he murmured. He gently brushed his thumb along my cheek, his hand lingering for a bit longer than it needed to. And then before I knew what was happening, he kissed me. I knew I should have pulled away immediately, but I didn’t. Instead, I melted into him, letting the whole world fade away until there was only us, sitting on the porch swing under the stars.
