“Why didn’t you tell us you were struggling so much?” Tameron asked.
“Because I wanted you to be happy and not feel guilty. Besides, this was my problem, not yours. You couldn’t have done anything anyway. It’s not like you were gonna move back in…”
“You’re an idiot.”
I blinked. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me.”
“I’m not sure I underst?—”
“You couldn’t fix Creek’s missing leg, now could you? Or my hearing. Or Bean’s scrambled brain. But you were still there for us. You helped us carry the burden. Why won’t you let us do the same for you?”
It was the exact same thing Dayton had told me at the barbecue, when he’d hugged me so tightly. And I had vowed I’d do better…except I’d never gotten the chance, and now here we were, in this mess that I had helped create.
“Tam, sweetheart, I’m not sure this is the right time for this heavy of a conversation,” Dayton said.
“It’s never the right time,” Tameron and I said at the same time, and I couldn’t help but smile at hearing my grandmother’s wise words repeated.
“There is no perfect timing for this,” Tameron said. “I learned that from you, Top.”
Another lesson that had been much easier to teach than to apply to my own life. Tameron had been paying attention, hadn’t he? Much more than I had given him credit for. In fact, he sounded like he was channeling me. Hard to get upset with him when he was saying things I could easily picture myself telling him. “I hate you a little right now. You get that, right?”
He shrugged. “I’m okay with that.”
I met his eyes. “Thank you.”
“Anytime, Top.”
Dayton offered me another sip of water, and I took the time to gather my thoughts. They were both right. I should have shared my struggles with them, should’ve been honest about how I felt about my brothers leaving. But even knowing that, there was little I could do about it now. I couldn’t change what I had done.
I also couldn’t change that Creek had found out about Forest’s illness and our marriage. As much as I had wanted to prevent this, I hadn’t, and now I’d have to face the consequences. But that, too, was a problem for later.
I needed Forest. I needed to see him with my own eyes, convince myself he was okay. As okay as he could be under the circumstances, anyway, but I wanted to see him. The longing for him was so stark, it ached as much as the physical pain in my body.
“I want to see Forest…”
God, was that me? That vulnerable, almost fragile voice? That plea with a hint of desperation? It sounded like me, but at the same time, it was like I was looking at someone else. Like I was observing myself through glass, noting how much I had changed.
“I’ll go get him,” Dayton said. “You get some rest, my friend. You look like death warmed over.”
Just what I wanted to hear when I was about to tell the man I loved that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. For real, this time.
When I woke up again, Dayton and Tameron were gone, and Bean and Creek were sitting there, quietly chatting with each other. I blinked a few times to get rid of the floaters in my vision, then cleared my throat. “Hi…” I croaked.
They sat up straight. “How are you feeling?” Bean asked.
“Probably as bad as I look.”
My weak attempt at humor earned me a smile from Bean, but Creek’s face didn’t move a muscle. My heart sank. “On a level of mildly irritated to wanting to kill me, where are you at?” I asked him.
His jaw ticked. “Trying very hard to tell myself that it wouldn’t be fair to kick your ass when you’re already in the hospital.”
Fuuuuck. “I’ll do my best to recover as quickly as possible so you can have a go at me.”
Creek quirked an eyebrow, his face still not showing much emotion otherwise. “You’re gonna let me beat you up?”
“You have every right to be angry with me. Furious, even.”
