I don’t push him or yank at his lead. My pressure remains steady on it as I wait for him to give it a chance. And a couple of minutes later, the ramp creaks beneath his weight. I walk him up slowly before latching the divider and listening as he lets loose a deep breath that seems to relax him.
The second horse is harder. He’s stubborn and angry. When I open his stall and try to approach, he dances sideways, the whites of his eyes flashing. I speak to him, low and deep.
“You can either come with me or stay here in this shithole. I can guarantee I’m the better option.”
His ears pin, and his hoof stomps. It’s a warning that I accept but push past anyway.
“I’m getting you in that trailer one way or another,” I grunt, showing him the lead in my hand. “There’s a woman waiting for us who’s going to go fucking crazy over you, and if you give me a black eye, I can’t promise she’s not going to be disappointed.”
Finally, he lets me put the lead on. The energy between us is tense. I do my best to keep my steps as steady and silent as possible on the journey to the trailer. He doesn’t want to step onto the ramp, but he does it anyway, and once he sees the gelding, he doesn’t seem all that bad anymore. Once I’ve latched him in, I grab the mare left waiting.
She doesn’t need coaxing. There’s something ghostly about her as she lets me lead her out of her pathetic excuse of a stall and into the trailer. I don’t think this one has any fight in her at all anymore. If there ever was, it’s been either beaten out, or she’s just . . . stopped caring.
I’m tempted to go back to the house and hit Walt a few more times. Horses are wild animals. They weren’t ever meant to be made into pets, but like humans always do, we took their free will away for our benefit.
We force these animals to wear saddles and carry us around like that’s their sole reason for existing. I pour so much of myself into helping and caring for them because it’s the only way I can convince myself that I’m deserving of them. If they’re going to be here with me, following my instructions and losing their right to freedom, then I’m going to treat them with respect and care. I’ve seen first-hand over the course of my life the bond we can share and how happy we can make them. That’s why I do what I do.
It’s the bare minimum. So, seeing pricks like Walt take advantage of them drives me to the end of my patience. He deserves nothing as far as I’m concerned.
With a parting look into the trailer, I grip the door and force my shoulders to relax. I shut and latch it before grabbing our bin of supplies and getting into the truck. The last thing I do beforedriving away is grab a smoke from the console and light it up. It fills the cab with its stink, but it doesn’t linger long.
I take a few puffs for the first time in a year as I pull onto the road and then flick the glowing butt of it out the window so fate can decide whether or not Walt deserves to keep his ranch.
21
TILLY
October 21st
Hey, Hellcat,
You have no idea how much it meant to me to get that picture in your last letter. I know it’s one of your favourites, so I hope you kept a copy and I don’t have the original. I’d hate for you to not have it anymore. I’ve got my copy pinned up on the wall beside my bed. It’s not the same as being out with you guys, but it’s really fucking nice to have something from you in here.
How have you been? I know I’ve taken a few weeks to reply this time, but I couldn’t write you for a while. My temper got the better of me. It’s the only time I can letmyself get like that if I want to get out early. I want that so badly.
I spoke to Ash. He said you started working at the ranch last week. How has it been? Are my parents treating you right? My dad been patient while you learn? I want to ask if they’ve brought me up . . . but I won’t. I know the answer would make it harder to keep my cool.
I hope you aren’t mad at me for taking so long to reply. I miss you guys. Tell Ash I’ve had more than enough time to start planning the first thing we’re going to do together when I get out.
Rowe
“Where’d you go?I’m at the ranch, and you’re not here,” Ash says the moment I answer his call.
“Hello to you too, twin.”
“Hey, Tills. Sorry.”
“Jed sent us on a bit of a field trip today. We’ll be back tomorrow.”
Or preferably tonight. After spending the last hour standing outside the motel room with our bags on either side of my boots and a pissy attitude, the last thing I want is to spend the night here. I’d rather endure an awkward three-hour drive home, even if it would have been fun to tease him further than I got to earlier.
“We?” Ash pokes.
I huff and rub the toe of my foot into the cement walkway. “Yeah. Me and Rowe. I think his dad likes torturing me.”
“I wouldn’t doubt it. You’re a shit disturber.”
“That’s a rude thing to say to your sister. The next time he wants to send someone on a ridiculous errand like this, I’m volunteering you.”
