“That’s what I thought. Go on.” I nibbled on some cheese as she continued her list of things I “should know.”
“Second, we know that you’re willing to die for us.”
I blinked at that, brow furrowing. I hadn’t been expecting that. Was I willing to die for my House? The answer came quickly: yes, I was.
“And none of us want to lose you, just as you don’t want to lose any of us.”
Interesting. I hadn’t thought of things in reverse. How others would feel if I died. I supposed they’d feel how I’d feel iftheydied.
“And because we don’t want you to die, we would die for you, Legs. We know, you’d die for us just as easily. It’s a give and take. I know that doesn’t make dealing with any of our deaths any easier, just as your death wouldn’t be any easier for us. But you have to understand… we’re all in this together. We’ll all stand up for every other member of this House. And that means putting our lives on the line occasionally. Just as we know you’d put your life on the line for us.”
It was certainly a different perspective. I nodded. “Thank you.”
“Finally… and this is something I never really had to tell Maverick… we know that right now is a very difficult time for all of us.” She gave a harsh little laugh. “Legs, we all know that what we’re facing is next to impossible. We’re a small house, ten people, going up against the entirety of the rest of our nation. That’s… madness, but we’re doing it because it’s right; because we know it needs to be done. And we’re doing it because we knowyoucan do it.”
“Can I?” I asked, voice quiet. I put my plate aside and gazed hard at Crane. “Do you really think that?”
She stared back just as hard and her voice didn’t waver when she said: “I do.” Her gaze didn’t shift when she added, “What’s more, I don’t think Maverick could have.”
I raised a brow at that. “Truly? I thought he could do anything!”
“Almost anything, perhaps, but he tackled problems head on. He knew tactics and strategies, but often ignored the devious way of doing things in favor of the direct. And this isn’t a problem we can attack head on. But you, Legs, you think in all manner of weird and wonderful ways. And it’s that kind of thinking that’s going to get us through this. I know we have the help of Alvere and Vauphan, but I also know they won’t be able to divert many resources to help us. Your plan to use the Fey on the mission to get the queen was inspired.”
“That was Alvere’s idea, not mine.”
“But you picked it up and ran with it, making it work.” Crane rose and came to sit on the bed next to me, she took up one of my hands and held it gently between both of hers. “Legs, the world has turned to madness and we’re the only ones who know it. We all know that it might mean our deaths to do this, but we also all believe that you are our best chance of getting through this alive.”
That was something I was still curious about. I shook my head, brow furrowed. “Why?” I asked, perhaps a bit too harshly. “You all made me your leader, but… why? Why do you think I can do this? Just because I don’t think in a straightforward way? That can’t be it.” Even before she could answer I rushed on. “I’m the second youngest member of the House, others have more experiences and are stronger, others are more conniving or devious, I’m sure. Why me?”
She squeezed my hand. “You’re right, of course,” she began softly. “Others are more devious, or stronger, or experienced, but…” She paused and made sure she had my gaze upon hers before she went on, holding me in suspense. “None of them have all of those qualities in as great a quantity as you do, Legs.” She smiled. “Your spirit-gift is bloodyHeroismfor Pit’s sake!” I’d never heard Crane swear like that, twice in one sentence.
I blinked, still not quite understanding.
She went on. “Legs, you may not be as strong as Ant, or as curious and odd as Foggy, or as experienced as Midnight, but you’re more of all of those qualities combined than any of those others.
“Even Midnight?” I asked, a bit disbelieving. “She’s pretty bloody strong and experienced and—”
“And her spirit-gift is going unseen, Legs. Don’t you see? What leader can lead from the shadows? She knows that. You’re out there, first into the fray and fighting just as hard as anyone else. So yes, she might be stronger and more experienced, but she doesn’t have the one other quality that makes a good leader: the will to lead.” Crane smiled once again. “Legs… she’s terrified of leading. If you think you’re scared, she’s ten times as worried as you are. Why do you think she never even became a squad leader? She hates giving orders. She doesn’t want to be in charge of people. She works best alone, and she knows it.”
“Oh.” I hadn’t known any of that. “Everyone really sees me that way? As a leader?” I tried to think of what I’d done to inspire such thoughts.
“You should hear Silence tell the story of how you saved him from the mistweaver, valiantly fighting the impossible foe yourself, keeping her at bay so he could get away with the information from the Vauphani raid.”
I suppose I had done that.
“More than that,” she whispered softly. “People… love you, Legs. Even more than those you share your bed with. There is just something about you that draws people to you. We all feel it.”
“You’re not interested in sharing my bed, are you?” I hadn’t truly been attracted to Crane. I saw her more as a mother figure.
She laughed. “No, Legs, I’m not. And I believe not everyone will be, but still… you’re just… easy to know. You’re open about how you feel and people are drawn to that sort of openness I think.” She smiled. “That was also something Maverick didn’t do well. He kept his feelings hidden for the most part. People were still drawn to him, but more… as a curiosity, I think. They wanted to know more about him because he was so closed off.” She shrugged. “I don’t know if that’s it or not, but I know people love you, Legs.”
“Oh.”
“And don’t worry, the ones who aren’t in your little harem don’t feel left out. From what I’ve seen, Princess and Foggy are becoming quite close.” She cocked her head to one side. “And I could be wrong, but there’s been something in how your sister has been looking at Fin.”
That surprised me. “Truly?”
She shrugged. “Perhaps it’s nothing.”
