Then why did you wear your flirtiest outfit? Auwei asked.
That was an excellent question. I’d found this particular outfit before leaving Elista, a matching top and skirt in brilliant rose-gold. The top was actually fairly modest, with a high, round neckline, tight across the shoulders and the tops of the arms, leaving the rest of the arm bare. The slightly scandalous part of the top was that it stopped mid stomach. It was loose and gave some shape to my breasts, but hung off of them, leaving a space between the sheer fabric and my skin.
The skirt was a matching color, tight around the hips and sitting a little lower than most, exposing the tops of the hips and all of my lower back, not to mention a good swath below my navel. From there it flared out ending just below the knee. I hadn’t had a real reason to wear it in all the time I’d been at Hedgewild. Now I didn’t know if I loved it or regretted it.
Alvere peeked around a corner and smiled when he saw me. My earlier assessment of him hadn’t been wrong, he’d toned up and lost the roundness on his face. The rest of him — as I’d seen earlier in the baths — had little roundness at all, with fine tight muscles over his slight frame. He was in a deep blue jerkin, white shirt beneath, and cream-colored pants.
He stopped, once he was fully around the corner, and I saw him swallow hard as his eyes grew wide, looking at me. I’m sure I imagined it — my mind still a little stuck on seeing him naked earlier — but I thought I saw a slight bulge in his pants.
Spirits, he looked good.
I was even more confused and torn. My body was clear in its desire for Alvere: racing heart, dry mouth, and a building wet heat between my legs. But my mind still whispered:what of Silence?
Alvere approached slowly. “You’re… amazing,” he whispered. There might be others in the library below. It was one of the reasons I’d suggested here instead of one of our rooms. In a room, we’d be alone, here we were… mostly alone with a constant unknown. “I have seen many beautiful women. As prince there is an endless parade of noble-women who wish to become princess and queen. Some of them were quite attractive, but… you… you outshine them all, Legs.” He gave a breathy laugh. “Even your name… I… can’t say it without thinking of that part of you.” He swallowed hard once again as he stopped, standing over me.
He certainly had lots of flowery words that made me feel seen and loved and pretty.
I stood, heart pounding with a strange mix of uncertainty and desire. He’d been close, and once I was standing, less than a foot of space remained between us. We stood there, in silence, gazing at each other for a long moment. Then one of his hands rose and came to rest on the exposed skin at the top of my hip, then slid up to my waist. Just that soft touch, the brush of movement, sent a thrill through me. I was gettingveryhot and my body trembled with need.
Spirits!
I didn’t know whether to flee from him or throw myself into his arms.
I gulped air, and saw his eyes dip to watch my heaving chest.
“I… I don’t know…” he began, gazing down at his hand and my hip. “Please tell me, Legs, what will happen here? I do not wish to presume. I will say this. I do not know if I will be able to be with you in a lasting way. I may have to marry one of those other noble-women someday. But until then I can… kiss who I like. And I would very much like to… kiss you. I would like… more too.” His gaze rose to mine, beryl-blue eyes bright and intent. “What do you wish?”
And there it was.
What did I want?
I wanted to move against his hand, feel his touch on my skin, over my hip and across my belly, or around back to pull me close. I wanted his lips on mine, his hands… everywhere, but… even that seemed like too much. Even if it didn’t lead to more, I’d essentially be opening the door for Alvere and I didn’t know if I could do that without talking to Silence first.
But all of this had come from him asking for a simple kiss. Perhaps… just that then? Lots of people kissed who weren’t lovers.
That is a fine line,Auwei said, cautioning me.What you say is true, but we both know that he wants more. And we know you want more. So even a chaste kiss might become… more.
And I knew she was right. But I had to tell him something.
“Just a kiss,” I breathed the words, voice tremulous and weak. I might as well say what I knew we were both feeling, echoing Auwei’s words. “I know I want more, and I know you want more, but we can’t have it, not yet. I… I have some things I need to work out first. I hope you understand.”
He nodded and gave a faint smile. “Yeah, I understand, my life is complicated too. I already mentioned that who I marry won’t be up to me, most likely.” He stepped in, close enough I could feel the heat of his body, close enough that every one of my heaving breaths brushed my breasts across his tunic. He’d never feel it, but I did. The faint friction aroused my nipples, which stood against the sheer fabric of my blouse.
The pull between us was so strong I could barely breathe. I raised my hand to his shoulder, my touch light since I didn’t know if I wanted to push him away or pull him closer.
When he spoke next his voice was just as hot and breathy and needful as mine had been. “I want… all of you, Legs. But, if all I can have now, is a kiss, I’ll take it.”
Oh, be so very careful Legs,Auwei warned.You two are both so hot right now, one kiss might start a fire you can’t stop.
Then I’ll trust you to stop it for me… please.I already knew she was right and I didn’t trust myself to stop at just a kiss anymore.
Understood, I’ll stop you, if you need it.
Oh, I was going to need it.Thank you,I said sincerely.
I could trust Auwei to keep me safe from… myself.
Then Alvere was tilting his head in and I did the same. I don’t know whether it was he who moved in or I, but our bodies were closer now, pressing lightly upon each other.
