Carefully, Auwei said within me.
“With a great deal of care,” Amber said echoing Auwei’s thoughts. “It is often good to let all parties know that they are not the only ones. Otherwise, it can lead to confusion, anger, and heartbreak. Get that out in the open first, let them know you do not plan to be with just them. See if that’s something they’re willing to abide by. Some men and women will have no problem with that. Others will want you all to themselves. It’s just who they are.”
Exactly.
Sorry, I know I’d already talked to you about this, but…
No problem. Amber’s information will be more… up to date. My particularly promiscuous host lived over a hundred years ago. Times were different then. Not to mention that my host didn’t much care about what others thought, she was in it for the challenge of the chase and the thrill of conquest.
Amber smiled at me. “Are you finding the attentions too much?” she asked, with a tilt of her head. Her auburn hair fell to one side. It was an action meant to draw attention to her, and she knew it. She was playing with me now. She knew I’d been with Sparrow. Was this an invitation?
“Ah… no, not yet, just…” How could I say this? Well, I didn’t have to mince words with Amber at least, she knew everyone I’d been with. “I love Silence. He is a kind man, caring and wonderful. And… I don’t think he’d fault me getting some comfort from Sparrow, that’s… different. But… from another man?”
Amber nodded. “Ah, yes I see.”
As much as I wanted to explore a relationship with Alvere, I couldn’t… yet. That much I knew. The question was: would a kiss, or a bit of play, still be betraying Silence? I also had to consider that it wouldn’t just be the actions themselves, but who I was doing them with. Silence had been tortured by the Vauphani. Though it hadn’t been the prince who’d done it, Silence wasn’t likely to feel kindly toward anyone from Vauphan.
I sighed heavily.
“You have two options it seems,” Amber said as she slid over the edge into the bath with a shuddering sigh of contentment. “Have your fun and check in with Silence later, or wait for Silence and then… have your fun.” She shrugged.
The trouble was, I didn’t know if I could wait for the prince. Once Silence was up and recovered, we’d all be heading our separate ways soon after that. “I just don’t know if the prince will still be around when Silence is done recovering.”
Amber gave a cat-like grin. “Oh! So, it was the prince you were spying on.”
I blinked. Hadn’t she known? No, how could she. She’d only seen me peeking in, not whom I was looking in on. “Yes,” I admitted.
She laughed. “I thought so, but couldn’t be sure. Who knows where your appetites might have turned!” She made it sound like I would sleep with anyone!
Well… would you?
Of course not. Only those I am close to.
And are you not close to most of those in this House?
I…
By my count, you’ve had intriguing thoughts about Ant, Jack, Amber, Fennec, and let’s not forget how much of a hunk Maverick is. And that’s on top of having already been with Silence and Sparrow.
If I hadn’t been beet red before, I was now.You can be quiet now.
Yes, mistress, Auwei said with a giggle.
“I assume your Lumani is well experienced, but… just in case Auwei is a prude, if you ever need any… lessons on things. Let me know,” Amber purred. She made no move to draw closer to me. It wasn’t an invitation, just… an offer. She wasn’t even looking at me. Her eyes were closed as she leaned her head back against the rim of the bath.
We were both silent after that.
I couldn’t figure out what to do. Should I see the prince? Would a single kiss be anything for Silence to worry about? Would it be just a single kiss? Should I just… wait? These questions spun in my mind until long after Amber had left the baths. The water was cool by the time I remembered to dunk under and give my hair a scrub. There were soaps around the bath and I quickly washed myself before retreating back to my room.
I’d missed the start of supper. Coming in late, I saw Maverick, Crane, Amber, and the prince huddled together at a far table. I sat separately from them with a meal and ate quietly, all the while anticipating — and now also dreading — my meeting with Alvere that evening.
Chapter 6
My heart poundedwith excitement and fear as I waited in the alcove. It was one of my favorite places in the library. Most of the third floor was open to the floors below with shelves along the walls, interspersed with windows on the eastern and southern walls. But there was a small area at the north end where long shelves coming out from the walls made nice little alcoves with soft-cushioned benches at the ends of each. I sat on one of those benches, still unsure of what to do or what I wanted.
I should have talked to Silence. He was doing better, with only a few injuries remaining upon him, but he was still fragile and feverish. I didn’t want to unsettle his rest with questions like this. But that meant I wasn’t sure how I wanted this encounter to go.
A single kiss won’t hurt, it’s harmless,I told myself.
