Dropping her gaze from mine, she asks, “How long for? I go out with you, and how long before you decide you don’t want me again?”
I want to sweep the damp strands of hair away from her face but I keep my hand at my side.
“Everything’s changed. That shit wouldn’t happen again.”
“You should know that I’ve been looking at job offers up north. In a few weeks I might not even be here in the city.”
That’s a sucker punch to the gut but I keep my face straight. I’ll process later.
“What about…”
“No, Ford. How many times do I have to tell you I can’t do this with you again?”
I step back and sigh. “Until it sinks in, I guess. And it hasn’t yet, so I’ll see you soon. Good luck on your final, not that you need it. You’ve got this.”
I leave her half naked in her kitchen and ride back to the club. The me before Effie would want her to follow the best path for her, but now, I need her and I’m not sure what I’ll do to make sure she stays in the city. She makes me feel normal again, and I need that.
Max and Warren are riding out of the club as I arrive. Tipping my chin, they nod and then they’re gone.
Victoria and the kid are setting up in the shade and I kill my engine and climb off my bike.
“You look like a man on a mission,” she calls out and I walk over and join her.
“I need some advice.”
“Okay, if I can help, I will. What’s up?”
Blowing out a long breath, I push on, “When Luca got the opportunity to set up here in the city, did you hesitate to make the move with him?”
There is no hesitation from her when she answers, “Nope. He’s my husband, I’d go anywhere with him.”
“Before you were married, would you have followed?”
She nods and adjusts River on her lap. “I would have. I loved him, there wouldn’t have been a reason not to.”
“Is love enough, do you reckon? To change all your plans and shit.”
“I can’t speak for everyone, people’s plans are different, people are different, but for me, Luca’s love will always be enough.”
“You grew up in the club, right?” She nods. “Has there ever been a time when you’ve questioned it? When you thought you couldn’t handle club life?”
She frowns but she tells me, “The club for me has always been a way of life that I don’t know any different from. Like you know, club is family. When I lost my hearing, Luca and I weren’t in a good place, but I didn’t have any thoughts about pulling away from the club. Even if Luca and I didn’t happen, I’d still live a life in the club. Does that help?”
Unfortunately it doesn’t. Instead, I ask, “Do you think it’s possible to be with someone in the club, long term shit? Like, truly accept the life and everyone in it if it’s not something you grew up in?”
She thinks it over before saying, “I think it depends on how strong you are as a couple. That you remember to put in as much effort as the other person. My mom didn’t know about the club until she was in her early twenties. My grandpa hid the life until my grandma forced his hand. My grandma couldn’t accept the life so they created a world away from Willow’s peak, but that meant my grandpa could only visit a few times a year. But my mom, she fell in love with my dad, and the rest is history.” She narrows her eyes as she glances at me. “Are you asking about the girl who found out you’re still alive?”
I nod. “I want her back but she’s not exactly trusting me all that much these days. She’s never known clubs like this, she doesn’t see the family side.”
Her laughter is soft. “Some guys I’ve known wouldn’t stop until they got the girl.”
“Would Luc have done that?”
“My man doesn’t stop until he gets what he wants. Remember, Ford, if she’s worth fighting for, fight. You’re a Lost Soul.”
I grin. “Thanks.”
I stand to leave when she adds, “But don’t forget the balance, if she truly doesn’t want to be with you, you’ve gotta find a way to let her go. You can’t force someone to be with you. That’s psycho behaviour.”
