‘Nothing you say could bore me, Milly. Take your time.’
There was no mistaking the relief in her smile. She needed to talk and I was here to listen and, soon, I knew she’d do the same for me.
‘Do you remember me saying how I get melancholy at New Year and I wasn’t sure why?’ she asked. ‘Well, Idoknow why. Before I met Harry, I was in a long-term relationship with Rob. We got engaged and bought a house after about eighteen months together but, three years down the line, we hadn’t got round to setting a wedding date. I didn’t think anything of it because the house needed a lot of work and we’d decided to prioritise that. Rob took me out for a meal on New Year’s Eve and said we needed to talk about our future. His expression was really dark and idiot here thought he was winding me up so I adopted this serious tone and told him I wholeheartedly agreed and the first point on the agenda should be setting a date for our wedding and we weren’t leaving the restaurant until we had. I’d expected him to laugh but he didn’t and…’
As Milly paused and took a deep breath, my heart went out to her. It was clear that whatever had happened next still hurt many years down the line.
‘…and I knew at that moment that he didn’t want to talk aboutourfuture. He wanted to talk about a future without me.’
‘Aw, Milly, that must have been horrendous.’
‘It was the most painful moment of my life. He said he was moving out and I remember staring at him, mouth open but no words coming out. You hear people talking about long-term relationships ending and them having no inkling anything was wrong and I always thought that was ridiculous. How could you possibly not know that your partner had fallen out of love with you and was about to leave? But it happened to me and, if there were signs, I missed every single one of them. I genuinely thought we were happy and would be together forever but Rob had wanted out for months.’
‘Did he say why?’
‘He’d met someone else. A colleague. He swore that nothing had happened between them and, to this day, I believe that was the truth. But she’d made it clear she was interested and would only do something about it if he was single.’
‘So she gave him an ultimatum – you or her?’
‘Effectively, and he chose her. I’ve often wondered whether it would have been easier if hehadcheated on me with her because he’d at least have made an informed decision to be with her. For him to choose her over me when they hadn’t even kissed made me feel so worthless.’
Her eyes filled with tears and she blinked them back. ‘Why am I still crying over it? It was twenty-three years ago, for goodness’ sake.’
‘Because he hurt you badly and time doesn’t heal all wounds – not completely.’ I was living proof of that. Time certainly hadn’t eased any of my pain.
While Milly sipped on her drink, I asked her how long after Rob she’d met Harry.
‘It was about five months later at parents’ evening. Harry was the uncle of one of my students and had stepped in when the parents couldn’t make it. He was the last appointment of the night and I was shattered and completely peopled out but he made me laugh. I’d just turned thirty and he was thirty-six, divorced with no kids and, corny as it sounds, he swept me off my feet. He travelled a lot with his job and, at first, I loved the distance relationship thing – just what I needed after Rob. He sent me gifts and wrote me long emails and was so attentive when he was home. It all seemed so romantic and, even though I used to believe there was only one true love for everyone and mine had been Rob, I realised that was rubbish because I was hopelessly in love with Harry and desperate for us to be a family. Not ideal when he’d made it clear he didn’t want to get married again or ever have kids.’
‘Obviously you have Coral, so what changed for him?’
Milly grimaced. ‘Nothing. Coral was an accident – although, for me, a very happy one. When I told him I was pregnant, I was sure it would be the end of us and I’d be raising her on my own, but Harry surprised me by proposing. We got married quickly – before Coral came along – and Harry was around for the first couple of months but then he went abroad for three months and I had a hard dose of reality. The distance relationship thing suddenly wasn’t quite so romantic anymore, especially when the trips abroad became more frequent and for longer.’
‘So you effectively raised her on your own anyway?’
‘Exactly!’ Milly took another sip of her drink. ‘I decided not to go back to teaching after my maternity leave ended. I spent most of my time at Mum and Dad’s in Windermere so they could help with Coral while I retrained for the job I do now. I decided I wanted to move to the Lakes before Coral started school and I expected Harry to refuse but he went with it. We rented out our flat in Manchester, bought the house in Pippinthwaite and I focused on raising my daughter and building my business while burying my head in the sand about my marriage being a disaster.’
‘Milly, I’m so sorry. It can’t have been easy to make the decision to end things.’ I knew that from personal experience.
‘It wasn’t. I’ve known for a long time that we don’t have a proper marriage and, in dark moments, I’ve wondered about calling time on it but I never quite got to the point where I felt it was something I had to do.’
‘But you’ve hit that point now?’
She nodded. ‘While Coral was at home, she was my life and it didn’t bother me that I had no romance in it. Even when she went away to university, I could kid myself that she hadn’t properly left home, but it all changes this year. The Easter break will be the last time she’s home for any significant time. She’ll be graduating in the summer and moving down to London with her boyfriend and I’ll be properly on my own.’
‘You wouldn’t consider following her to London?’ I asked.
‘God, no! I wouldn’t want to cramp their style and London’s not for me. I love this area and I’m close to my parents, but I feel as though I’ve spent long enough on my own. I want to meet someone who loves me more than their job and actually wants to spend time here with me rather than on the other side of the world. That’s not too much to ask, is it?’
I shook my head. ‘Of course not! You absolutely deserve that.’
‘I think so! Not that I have any clue how I’d find that person. The thought of using a dating app makes my blood run cold and I don’t meet anyone in person through my work, so finding the man of my dreams is going to be one heck of a challenge but I’m open to it happening somehow. It’s scary but it’s time to take the plunge again and hope for third time lucky.’
Milly held up crossed fingers and I did the same, feeling so sorry for her that she’d trusted two men with her heart only for them both to break it.
‘I’m sure itwillhappen, probably when you least expect it.’
‘I love the idea of an unexpected romantic meet-cute.’ She smiled at me and I loved how her eyes sparkled with the possibilities that lay ahead.
