Chapter Nine
Jane stared downat her empty palms in the restroom stall that was becoming all too familiar. Tears burned down her cheeks, and she let them roll down her neck and chest. She’d nicknamed it the breakdown bathroom because over the past two weeks, when things became too much, when she needed to silently sob out her frustrations, worry, and pain, this is where she came. So, here she was again, as Sully was being checked over by his doctor now that he’d woken. She’d communicated that he was conscious to his parents, Red, and Thalia. She’d never exchanged numbers with Bentley and didn’t plan to. She didn’t trust a hair on his head and was convinced that he’d had something to do with Sully’s respiratory distress.
Still, she wasn’t in her breakdown bathroom for the usual reasons. Sully’s words had intimidated her. Unraveled a thread of panic from the emotional spool she kept tightly wound.I’m not sure who was careless with you, but my next mission—and I have a feeling it’s going to be the most important one of my life—is going to be convincing you of how goddamn worthy you are of others’ kindness, acceptance, and attention.
Everything about Sully seemed too good to be true. In her experience, it was only natural to be let down by the people who were supposed to care the most. It might not happen right away, but eventually everyone seemed to distance themselves. Part of her wanted to preserve the perfect image Sully had created for her. A man who was honorable. Who would always step up to protect those who needed it. Who wrapped those he cared about in an embrace that was fierce, protective, and unwavering.If she stuck around and learned that Sully wasn’t the person she thought he was, she had a feeling she’d never trust again. What was even more terrifying than that, though, was Sully discovering that she wasn’t the person he thought she was.
That had always been her experience. People liked her initially, but she was only outgoing to a point before she needed to retreat into herself to regroup. She forgot to respond to texts for days or weeks on end—not because she didn’t care what the other person was asking, but because simply initiating the task of replying to multiple messages was daunting. She often felt like her whole personality, her whole life was a contradiction. She was meticulous and neat as a nurse. Nurturing and compassionate to her patients. When she stepped out of that role though, she was messy, prickly, and easily overwhelmed by mundane tasks.
Her rental cars filled up with bottles, cups, and receipts during her time off. Even with her limited number of belongings, it took hours to put her hotel rooms back in order so someone wouldn’t have to clean up after her. She was calm and collected in a crisis but would feel like the world was crumbling around her if she lost the keycard to her room or discovered her computer was drained of battery and she needed to look something up. She’d abandoned many a shopping cart even though she needed the contents because the checkout line was too long or she’d overspent on things she didn’t need. She tried to set herself reminders on her phone, only to forget to look at them and swipe them off the screen when they popped up on her device.
Her time and money management left a lot to be desired and there was a limit to the amount of information her memory could hold at one time. No matter how much she accomplished, she felt like a fraud. Being diagnosed with ADHD had helped her understand and give herself more grace in certain situations,but it didn’t take others long to judge or tire of her behavior. The idea that Sully might follow that same pattern would be crushing.
“Jane?” The sweet, feminine voice was instantly recognizable. Thalia. It wasn’t the first time Red’s fiancée had tracked her down in her hiding spot, but then, she was a creature of habit, so she supposed it wasn’t very hard.
“I’m here. Be right out.” She swiped her hands over her face, took a cleansing breath, and exhaled before opening the stall door. Thalia gave her a kind smile and waited to the side as she washed her hands.
“I didn’t realize you and Red got here so quickly,” she said as they exited.
“I wanted to give Red some time alone with Sully and to find you of course.”
“I’m not the best company.”
Thalia shrugged. “I don’t mind. Let’s go outside and enjoy the sunshine.”
If the woman had asked her if she wanted to go, she would’ve protested, but since Thalia really hadn’t, she found herself walking toward the doors. Thalia took her hand as they walked around the building, and Jane stiffened at first, then relaxed as they strolled in comfortable silence. The other woman was right. The sky was cloudless, and a cool breeze mellowed out the summer heat. It was nice to hear something other than the beep of machines. To smell fresh air instead of antiseptic and hospital food. They turned a corner, and Thalia led her to a courtyard. It was a nice space for a hospital. Lots of lush grass and open space framed by benches and carefully planned flower gardens. In the center was a bubbling fountain and the sound of water droplets rolling into the clear pool below was soothing. They chose a bench next to the fountain and sat.
There was a faraway expression on Thalia’s face, and a smile curved her lips. “This reminds me of where Red proposed. It wasn’t real. He was only helping me get a visa into the country, but he did everything possible to make it special for me. After he rescued me, I only had the shirt and shorts that he loaned me. He went to the market and bought me a linen dress and sandals. Even an engagement ring.” She held out her hand and the sun glinted off a halo of diamonds surrounding a turquoise stone veined with navy blue. “I felt so unworthy of his kindness.”
“And now you’re engaged for real?”
Thalia’s smile widened. “Yes. I was worried Red was only staying with me out of a sense of responsibility. That he’d grow to resent me when he found the real woman he wanted to spend his life with. Someone with a job, friends, and the ability to support themselves. It took some getting used to that the woman he wanted was me. He was holding back, because after being controlled for most of my life, he didn’t want to be one more person to have power over me, but that’s not how I felt. Loving him has been liberating. At first, I thought he was too good to be true. We all have our flaws, and I’m not saying he doesn’t too, but I wasn’t used to people keeping their word or not having hidden intentions. Red and Sully are a breath of fresh air. They’re both good men.”
Thalia’s words mirrored her unspoken concerns with startling accuracy. “I’m scared of getting to know Sully, because I have feelings for him.” Jane sighed and lowered her elbows to her knees. “Which is silly because I haven’t known him that long. What if I’ve put him on a pedestal and that’s not really who he is? Or worse, what if I’m not what he’s built me up to be?”
Thalia didn’t rush to answer, appearing to contemplate her words. “Have you ever heard of Vivienne Day?”
The name sounded familiar, then it struck her. “The model from Texas?” Before she’d left on her last assignment, sherecalled seeing images of the blue-eyed beauty queen on the nightly news. There was some sort of scandal with her family, and she’d stepped out of the limelight, deleting all her social media channels.
“Yes,” Thalia said. “I grew up in her household from the time I was a teenager. I was the victim of labor trafficking, and her family forced me to work long hours in their estate. I had no money, only the small amount of food they provided, and I was isolated from everyone. Vivienne was my only friend, just as I was hers.”
“I’m so sorry that happened to you, Thalia. How did you befriend Vivienne? I’m not sure I could be as forgiving if someone’s family imprisoned me, even if it wasn’t their fault.”
“She was a prisoner, too. On the surface, she lived the perfect life, was always surrounded by friends, showing off luxury brands, going to extravagant parties. Her parents only let the cameras show what they wanted the world to see. Every moment of her life was planned out for her. She was just as isolated as I was. Those friends she was pictured with weren’t real friends. At least not ones who stuck when things got tough.”
“I’ve experienced that too. People who you think will have your back in any situation, only to abandon you when you hit rock bottom or to save their own skin.” There was a pang in her chest as she envisioned all the failed friendships she’d had over time.
“Yes. So, I’m not sure what will happen with you and Sully in the future, but I can tell you these men stick. Most of what’s portrayed on television and social media isn’t what it seems. I think that’s why I fell for Red so fast. What you see is what you get. That’s a trait Sully and Iron share too. Iron helped Vivienne escape a forced marriage. I know she’d be okay with me sharing that she had similar fears but fell for Iron anyway. Now they’re happy and living the life they want. There’s no such thing asperfect, but I do think two people can be perfect together. Does that make sense?”
Jane nodded. “Red is engaged to a very intelligent woman. Thanks for the walk and for talking to me. It helped.”
“Sully doesn’t live very far from Red in California. It would be nice to have a friend there.” Thalia’s green eyes sparkled as she stood.
Jane’s throat tightened as she recognized how badly she wanted this woman as a friend. She wanted to get to know Vivienne, too. Spend more time seeing where things could go with Sully. “I don’t know what my next steps are, but no matter what happens, I would love to stay in touch with you. Does Vivienne live in California with Iron?”
“Iron owns a business in Virginia Beach, but they are looking for a vacation home in Coronado where we are. It’s just off the coast of San Diego.”
Jane followed Thalia’s lead and stood. They were walking out of the courtyard and rounding a corner when something slammed into her. The bag Jane was carrying fell to the ground, its contents scattering all over the sidewalk. Thalia gripped her arm to keep her from toppling over with it. When Jane got her footing, she looked up to find Bentley staring at them.
