A truth I wish I never learned.
When I wakeup in the morning, Gabriel is beside me. I lie there, quietly reading the news on my phone even though we were supposed to be cutting ourselves off from the real world. I figure it’s fine, considering the real world has detonated a grenade in the middle of my bliss.
Gabriel reaches for me when he wakes up. I push his hand away. He doesn’t try again, or ask why I’m mad.
Silently, we dress for breakfast. I don’t have an appetite, but I know I need to eat. Our server delivers a Bloody Mary alongside our coffees. “A little hair of the dog,” he says, winking. Gabriel doesn’t touch it.
“You have a problem,” I murmur, spearing a pineapple slice.
He stares out at the bright blue water in the distance. “It was the anniversary of Nash’s death.”
“You’ll always find a reason if you’re looking for one.”
“You’re overreacting.” He tosses his napkin on the table.
I stare at him, waiting for him to remember his declaration on the day he told me about this trip. Waiting for him to remember what this trip is supposed to symbolize.
The muscles in his jaw flex. “I’m on vacation.”
I say nothing.
“Give me a break,” he says, teeth clenched. He pushes back his seat and leaves.
Tears pool in my eyes, blurring the happy yellow color of the fruit on my plate. He’s the one who messed up, so why is it I’m sitting here feeling like I’ve done something wrong?
I finish my coffee, watching the melting ice turn the Bloody Mary into a soupy mess.
SESSION THIRTEEN
DESERT FLOWER THERAPY
Dr. Ruben hands me the tissues.
“I’m sorry.”
“Me too.”
“We can cut it short today. You don’t have to keep going.”
I wipe at my eyes. “We’re almost to the worst of it. I might as well continue.”
CHAPTER 20
“How was St. Lucia?”My dad stabs his fork into his teriyaki bowl. He chews a cauliflower floret and looks at me, expectant.
My dad, Camryn, and I are seated at a trendy restaurant, the kind with an exposed ceiling and patterned floor tile. He and Lara are remodeling their house, and he has been tasked with going to new places trying to get an idea of his design preferences.
“Beautiful,” I answer, covering my mouth as I chew. “Paradise.”
He sips his iced tea. “Gabriel back at work?”
I nod. “Yep.”
He digs for another bite. “I bet it’s not easy to start a twenty-four-hour shift right after getting home from vacation.”
“Very true.”
Camryn gives me a weird look, and I stuff in another bite so I have an excuse not to say any more. I haven’t told her anything about Gabriel. I’m ashamed, and embarrassed.
