Sawyer steps back. He picks up his bags, and I turn away. I can't watch him walk out the front door.
I wait until I know he is gone, then take ten deep breaths. Pulling out my phone, I text my entire family, asking for a family meeting ASAP.
The reason for my broken heart is two-pronged.
That second prong is about to answer for what he's done.
33
Jessie
Everyone is gathered.I've sent Peyton and Charlie to a different room to play with Lyla and Colt.
"What's going on, Jessie?" Wes sounds annoyed. I disappeared around midday to accept the bed and never returned, and now I'm messing up his workday with this meeting.
All three of my brothers are seated on the couch. Tenley and Dakota sit beside each other in the armchairs. Jo is missing. She probably had to stay at Wildflower. My dad, Mom, and Gramps sit on the couch opposite my brothers. And I, the youngest of the family, stand in front of them all.
How many of my siblings already know about Sawyer's mother? Wes, probably. Possibly Warner. Maybe even Wyatt. They were teenagers when the affair was happening. It's likely I am the only one who didn't know.
I hold up the journal. "I came across this today. Sawyer had it, after it was found at Wildflower."
I hand the journal to my dad. His eyes question me, but I gesture to the book in his hand. "Open it up. Take a peek. It belonged to our neighbors, back when Wildflower was the Circle B."
My dad's eyes darken. So do my mother's. The way she treated Sawyer makes so much more sense now.
He spends fewer than thirty seconds on the journal. I go to stand beside my brothers.
"Kids," my dad's heavy gaze sweeps all four of us. "I don't think we… I," he corrects, sending a swift glance at my mom, "ever planned to tell you this. But it seems like something we should do now, considering what Jessie has found."
My brothers didn't know. I look at their curious but reluctant expressions. A small part of me feels bad for calling everyone together, for forcing this on my dad.
"It was a long time ago, when the Bennett family lived at the Circle B. It operated as a ranch much like ours. Ken Bennett was good for a time, a rancher I respected. But he lowered the cost of his beef, and it was like throwing a stick of dynamite in the market. It fucked up everything and almost made the HCC go broke. I couldn't figure out how he was making enough money to operate, because I certainly wasn't."
"Then you rerouted his water source and forced his land into a drought," Wyatt says. "We know, Dad."
I look at him sharply. "I didn't know that. No shock there, though."
Wyatt meets my gaze momentarily, then glances back to our dad.
"Yes, Wyatt. That's true. But there was something else that happened.” My dad sets a heavy, firm hand on my mom's knee and squeezes reassuringly. "I made the worst choice of my life back then, a mistake I will regret until I draw my final breath."
My stomach drops away. I know what he's going to say, yet I can't fathom it. It seems impossible, though I've read the words myself.
"I had an affair with Cynthia Bennett."
Silence from everyone, and then, "What the fuck?" It's Wyatt's outburst.
A heavy breath from Warner.
"I remember that time," Wes says, his voice sounding inside out. "I remember Cynthia Bennett. Coming here. I thought she was friends with Mom.” Goose bumps dot Wes's arms. Dakota reaches out, her fingers grazing his forearm. He watches her touch as it flows back and forth over his skin, then he looks up at our dad. I've never seen Wes look quite so… devastated. "How could you do that to Mom? To us? We were all living in this house at that time. How could you?"
"I don't have any excuses, Wes, but—"
"You're goddamn right you don't have an excuse," Warner says. My eyes widen at the venom in his voice. I didn't know Warner was capable of sounding that way.
My dad's head hangs, supported by his hands. I have never, in all my twenty-one years, seen my dad look pathetic. I don't want him to be this person. I want him to be my strong, unflappable father. Who is this fallible man with his chin to his chest?
My mother sits up, pulling back her shoulders, and addresses us. "You know nothing of what was happening back then. It was more than two decades ago. You are allowed to have an emotional response to this news, but you will not dwell on it. We will not be a family who wears this on our chests for decades to come. This will not break us." She points up at the coat of arms on the mantel, the words inscribed on it.Legacy. Loyalty. Honor.
