"I know," I respond. I remember the classes I took in the evenings, trying to get up to speed as soon as possible. Even as hard as I tried, it took me a long time to become fluent.
"Do you…" she hesitates, nibbling her lower lip. "Do you think you could work with me and Colt? I mean, I'm sure you're really busy. It's just—" she cuts off, and I realize she's crying. "I feel so alone. I want to be able to communicate with my son. And Wes works all the damn time, and I just want him to put his son before that goddamn ranch." Dakota cups a hand to her mouth, eyes wide. "I'm sorry. I'm so embarrassed. It's just pregnancy hormones talking. They're a doozy." She laughs uncomfortably.
"No worries." I finish my sandwich and toss the paper and napkin in the trash nearby. "I'm not a teacher by any means, but I could help you get started."
"Thank you." She strokes Colt's head. As precocious as he was in line inside the deli, he now delivers the same focus to the task of eating.
"It's not a problem. I never get to use sign anymore, so this will be good for me. Keep the language fresh." I don't elaborate about why I ever learned ASL in the first place.
Dakota asks where we should meet, and I tell her I'm staying in a hotel room. We both agree that's probably not the best place to meet. "This town is full of gossipy old ladies with nothing better to do. They'll have the rumor mill churning in an instant, and I don't need that headache."
"One-hundred-percent agree," I say. Drawing the anger of the oldest Hayden brother is the last thing I want. I haven't met him face to face yet, but I've heard stories. Besides, there’s a totally different Hayden female that has captured my attention.
"Can you come out to the ranch?” Dakota makes a face like she's worried she's inconveniencing me. "That way, Colt will have all his toys and maybe be more receptive to learning."
I agree again, and she gives me the address. I already know how to get there, thanks to my rides, but I don’t tell her that. We decide on a place and time, and she gets up to leave. Her arms are full with Colt and the bag she carries, so I throw her trash out for her.
Before she walks away, she says, "Sawyer, I almost didn't stop here for lunch. I saw the line and I was going to keep on driving. But something in me told me to brave the line with Colt. And I'm so glad I did. I have a feeling everything just changed."
She leaves me with those words, and I wonder if she knows how profound they are. All it took was her one decision, and now someone will help her and her child learn to communicate with each other. All it took was Brea's one decision, and she drowned in the ocean. What decision am I making right now that is affecting the outcome of my life? I’m allowing myself to feel attracted to Jessie, instead of seeing her as nothing more than the opposite sex. Still, I’ve yet to get her phone number or ask her on a date. Nothing feels tangible right now. In some ways I still feel like I’m floating above it all, a bystander of this life.
But maybe it's happening anyway. Tiny little choices, like tributaries that run into streams, and eventually, converge with mighty rivers.
12
Jessie
I nudged him.
The alfalfa farmer.
Just a little push in the direction I want him to go.
After Wyatt told me Sawyer tried to buy the farm and the asshole refused, I thought maybe I could influence the outcome.
The mail was delivered today.
Now I'll put on my patience hat and see just how influential I can be.
Quietly, of course. From the sidelines.
God forbid I do anything effectual in the light of day.
13
Sawyer
"We're workingon a long-term strategy that will lead to enhancement of unit-holder value. Our team has come up with several ideas, all of which have been thoroughly thought out. Thus begins our presentation."
I lean off camera and yawn silently. Meetings like this are the worst part of my job.
Andre's voice drones on and on, and I struggle to stay awake. Or present, at the very least. It’s hard when my bed is only a few feet away. Normally I take calls like this from my office, but I didn't make it out in time today and I got stuck here.
He's halfway through his presentation when my phone vibrates with a text message from an unknown number.
I accept your offer.
I sit up straight, fully at attention. So much for needing Farley to dig up dirt.
