I’m staring at my hands, folded on the countertop, when I hear a guy from a few seats down call out Cassidy’s name. She turns to look at him, eyebrows raised. “How’s your little girl?” he asks loudly.
Cassidy leaves the soda station and walks to the counter, coming to a stop in front of the guy who asked her the question.
“She’s good, Chris. Thanks for asking. We didn’t know she’s allergic to bees. She’s never been stung.”
“My wife said your babysitter was about to lose it.”
Cassidy laughs softly and glances at me. “Brynn was a pinch hitter.”
I straighten. “Brynn babysat?”
“Yeah.” Cassidy is still standing beside Chris, but she’s directing her words to me. “I needed a last-minute sitter. I was hoping you’d be at her place when I went to ask, honestly.”
I nod and keep quiet. I’m not interested in publicly declaring our split.
“Brooklyn was stung and Brynn drove her to the emergency room. She used my car, obviously.”
What the…? “Brynn drove?”
Cassidy nods. “I didn’t even know she had a license. She doesn’t have a car, I guess I just assumed she didn’t know how to.” Her face pinks, like she’s embarrassed. The more she talks, the more it’s obvious she doesn’t know much about the person she left her child with, which is probably why she’s red-faced.
Mary sets my sandwich down in front of me. The entire time I’m eating, I’m trying to picture Brynn behind the wheel of a car. The image is fuzzy in my mind, and I can barely place Brooklyn in the back. Does Brynn even know how to buckle a child into a carseat? I sure as hell don’t. She must have been terrified.
I pull out my phone, bring up our text message conversation, and stare at it. My thumbs hover over the keyboard, but I can’t make them type. I don’t know what to say to her. How can the span of five days make us feel a world apart?
* * *
The parade was cool.I’ll have to think up a better adjective than that when I see Julia. She’s going to want to hear something better thancool.
I’m walking back to my car when I see shoulder-length blonde hair going the opposite direction.
“Brynn,” I call out before I even know what I’m doing. Where is the connection between my brain and my mouth?
She turns. Sees me. Her arms wrap around her middle. Protecting herself. Protecting her heart.
I jog to her. I can’t play it cool and walk, I’m not one of those guys. Fuck my sleeve, my heart is on my forehead. It doesn’t matter anyway. She’s all but gone. That money should be in her account by now. It’s Friday.
“Hi,” she says when I get to her.
“Hey,” I say back. I want to grab her and feel the outline of her body against mine. I want to run my hands through her silky hair and nibble on the corners of her lips. I want to bury myself in her and never come out. I want to run away with her.
My fucking foolish heart.
I think she wants to touch me too. Her fingers curl into her palms, which are rigid at her sides.
“Connor, I’m leaving in the morning. Something happened this week, and I need to go. It’s important I leave. For everyone.”
“What happened?”
She shakes her head. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Brynn, come on. It’s me.”
Her eyes tear up. “I know it’s you, Connor, but I still don’t want to say it. I just want this nightmare to be over.”
“Am I a part of your nightmare?”
“Sort of. Moving on, leaving you, that’s part of the nightmare.” Her lower lip trembles and the tears spill over onto her cheeks. I take a step closer and she backs up. “No. I can’t handle your touch right now.”
