I can’t hide the hurt on my face, which makes her cry harder.
“Not because I don’t want you. God, no. Not at all.” She swipes at her cheeks. “Because I want you too much. If I bend at all, I’m sure to break.”
A car drives by us. Brynn’s eyes flicker to it, scrutinizing. It turns the corner and she looks back at me.
“Aren’t you already broken?” I want to hold her. That’s all. Her warmth is everything I need.
She nods and takes another step away. “Will you let me drive you home?”
She says no without stopping to consider. I already knew she would do this.
“What if I promise not to talk? Then you won’t have to walk.”
We both smile. I didn’t even mean to rhyme.
“Okay,” she says softly, falling into step beside me. When we reach my truck, I open her door and she climbs in. I go around and hop in.
It’s hard to breathe the same air as Brynn and stay calm. Five days without her was enough time to make her seem new again, even though I know every inch of her. The body I devoured night after night, the lips I claimed, the heart I stole, feels far away from me now.
Once I navigate out of the parade area, the drive is easy. There are only a few cars driving around us, and it’s quiet for a Friday afternoon.
I make good on my promise. No talking. When I pull up to her place, she breaks the silence.
“Good luck tonight.” Only one side of her mouth lifts with the smile she’s trying to put on her face.
“You’re coming, right?”
She nods. She looks so sad.
“You said you wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye.”
Her mouth immediately opens to argue. I know as well as she does that she never agreed to that, but I still put up a hand to stop her.
“I need a goodbye, Brynn. Maybe you don’t, but I do.”
“Okay,” she whispers. She gets out of my truck and slams the door. She waves once, slowly, then turns toward the house.
Suddenly I remember something. Rolling down the window, I yell, “You drove a car.”
She turns back to face me, her eyes wary. “It was an emergency.”
“Maybe so, but you did it.”
I roll up the window up, not giving her the chance to argue. Looking in my side mirror, I wait for a car to pass, and drive away.
24
Brynn
Ugh.
I wasn’t prepared for that.
Connor’s engine roars to life behind me as he pulls away from the curb. Like each of my feet is a sack of potatoes, I drag them up the front walk and to the door. By the time I step into the house, Connor is long gone.
Exhausted from two hours in the sun watching the parade, and even more drained from what seeing Connor did to my heart, I drop down onto the sofa. I tuck a throw pillow behind my head, prop my feet on the arm of the couch, and close my eyes. In the darkness of my mind, I see Connor running toward me on the street after the parade. My heart feels like it has turned inside out.
Connor is everything I want and everything I can’t have.
