“What?” she asks, looking to me for knowledge I don’t have. I shake my head.
“Now what?” I ask the doctor.
“We wait, and we watch. Closely.” He nods to all of us and walks out.
The air in the room is tense, thick, and full of questions nobody wants to ask. My mind runs over everything I know, over and over without end, until I have the urge to scream.
My mom is in the hospital.
My mom is in a coma.
My mom might need a surgery that will remove a piece of her skull.
I ball my hands into fists to hide the shaking. Dayton and Matt stand, their arms outstretched, waiting for me to fall into them. Noah’s crutches make protesting noises against the linoleum floor in his frantic attempt to grab them.
I don’t give him the chance to get up. I don’t fall. I climb onto his lap, fold myself into his big, warm front, and dissolve.
29
Noah
I’m wrecked.Ravaged. Someone has reached inside me and yanked, turning me inside out.
I cannot subdue Ember’s guttural sobs. My whispers into her hair are met with more tears. The stroke of my hand on her back does nothing to soothe her. I’ve never seen anyone experience pain so deeply. So openly. Ember has never shied away from emotion. With her, everything is felt in its entirety. Her highs are mountaintops, and her lows are underwater caverns. Even when it hurts, she allows the emotion to sweep her, to have her thoroughly, to run its course.
I’ve always known this, but to see it in action, to feel it alongside her, reminds me how much I love it.
So I hold her. When Matt stomps from the room, I hold her. When Dayton releases Sky, and she blows her nose, I tighten my hold on Ember.
Softly, Sky calls Ember’s name, and only then do I ease up on my grip. Ember nods, acknowledging her sister with almost imperceptible movements. She climbs from my lap, her eyes locked on me. Red-rimmed and swollen, swimming with more pain and fear than I’ve ever felt in my whole life.
Fiery anger burns across my chest with the injustice of it all.
Ember drags the back of her hand under her nose and wipes it on her jeans. Sky winds her fingers through Ember’s, tightening until both their hands grow pink. She whispers something in Ember’s ear, and they walk out of the room together.
I stare at the space they left behind, and Dayton plants himself in the chair opposite me. He looks despondent, and I probably do too.
“Noah, we need to talk about something.”
I swing my gaze back to him. “What?”
Leaning forward, his elbows come to rest on his knees. “Ember will be pissed, but I can take it. One day she may even thank me. I don’t like Matt.” Dayton pauses, holding up one finger. "Correction, I don’t like Mattfor Ember. He’s not a bad guy. The real problem is that he’s not you.”
I’m stunned.
Dayton leans forward, his elbows resting on his knees. His eyes are earnest.
“Ember is settling. She might not even know it, but it’s true. Matt is not the guy for her.” He flashes me a bitter look. “Hell, maybe you aren’t either.”
I send him afuck youwith my eyes. There is nobody better for Ember than I am.
Dayton holds up his palms. “But maybe you are. I don’t know.” He sends me a second bitter look. “You left her twice.”
My lips become a hard line. I know what I did. I know what I chose. And if I could go back, I would choose differently. I’m here now, and I want to keep showing up for Ember.
“Why did you ask me to come here?” I ask Dayton.
“You came here on your own, Noah. Remember? I didn’t ask you. You showed up the second you thought Ember needed you. And she did. She chose you, Noah.”
