I hand off my daughter, turning to Isaac. He knows what I’m asking. Grabbing my hand, he leads me four doors down to my father’s room. He kisses the top of my head and says softly, “You’ve gotthis.”
I step in, terrified of what I’m about to see. My dad the ex-Marine, my dad the mountain lion hunter, the man who stepped up when my motherran.
The bed seems too small for his large frame, or maybe it’s his presence that’s too large for this small room. Either way, he looks out of place. His eyes are closed, a blanket covers his lower half, but one side is bulky. Claire was right about his face. The left side is swollen, the reddish pink on his cheek beginning to change to darkpurple.
I step closer until I’m beside his bed. Bandages crisscross his arms, and more bruises darken hisskin.
“Daddy,” I whisper, shocked. How many times have I seen him come in from the garage and calmly tell me he’s running out to grab a splint because he hit his thumb with a hammer? I’ve never even seen the man take a sickday.
“Aubs,” he says, opening his eyes. His left eye twitches with theeffort.
“Dad.” My arms rise automatically, but I don’t know if I can hug him, so I drop them and place a kiss on the right side of his forehead. “Whathappened?”
“Oh, you know, took a tumble down a mountain.” He grumbles. “Not anything I haven’t donebefore.”
I take a deep breath and try not to picture my dad falling. “How did you gethelp?”
“Another hunter came along after a while. Neither of us could get a signal because we were down in the bottom of a dry creek bed, so he hiked to the top and called forhelp.”
“What did you do while he was doing allthat?”
“I stayedput.”
I lift my eyes to the ceiling and laugh. “Obviously. I mean, did you take care of yourself? Stop the bleeding on yourarms?”
He nods. “My backpack was clipped across my chest, so it stayed on when I fell. Before the guy left to get a call out, he gave me the first aid kit from mypack.”
“Where is the person who helpedyou?”
“I don’t know. The last time I saw him was from the inside of the helicopter. He was standing back aways and waved atme.”
Helicopter… I didn’t even think about how he was rescued. Tears spring to my eyes again as I imagine my dad lying helpless in a creekbed.
“Dad,” I say, my voicebreaking.
“I’m fine, Aubs. Really. They’ve got me here, and I’m all doped up. Can’t feel a thing. Isaac’s been making sure they take real good care ofme.”
Isaac.The fixer. He was here. And I wasn’t. All because I was chasing aghost.
“Isaac told me where you went. Sounds like I wasn’t the only person hunting in the past twenty-four hours.” My dad gives me alook.
I nod slowly, remembering my mother’s open face and friendly disposition. It doesn’t hurt though. Not like I thought itwould.
“Did you talk toher?”
“No. I saw her though. At a churchpicnic.”
My dad scoffs, and I laugh. “Church welcomes sinners andsaints.”
Dad nods. “They sure do.” He tries to adjust himself, but there’s really not another position for him to move to. He grimaces and gives up. “So, did you go there with aplan?”
“In my head I had a lot to say. But when I saw her, the words disappeared. Maybe if she’d looked sad, or regretful, it would have been easier to lay into her.” In my mind I’m seeing her pulled back shoulders, her easy step, the way her fingers gripped the basket she carried. No sign of a past life anywhere on her. “She looked carefree. Happy. After everything she did, everything she took from me, you’d think I could’ve been strong enough to take a piece of that happiness from her by confronting her.” My shrug feels heavy. “Icouldn’t.”
My dad leans his head back, so the pillows support his neck, but his eyes remain on me. “It’s not in your nature to be vindictive. Children are born loving their parents. It’s automatic. Biological. You love her, Aubrey, and that’s why you couldn’t confront her. Deep down, you don’t want to hurther.”
I turn my head, not wanting to absorb his words, but I know he’s right. Through all the layers of betrayal, hurt, and anger, there was yearning and warmth. That feeling you feel when you lovesomeone.
“Well, now you know where she is, so you can go talk to her when you’re healthy.” I clear my throat, needing desperately to move this conversation offme.
