“What were you and Craig talkingabout?”
Isaac’s shoulders stiffen. The seconds tick by, then he says, “A position that’s opening at BostonGeneral.”
I look at him. His gaze is somewhere across the room. His shoulders haven’t relaxedyet.
“What aboutit?”
“It’s a prestigious role, that’s all.” He’s shrugging like it’s no big deal, but the defensive edge to his voice tells me there’smore.
“Why do I feel like I’m not getting the full story?” It takes so much effort to keep my voice light, I have no more energy left to keep the sudden nervousness from eating away inside mystomach.
Isaac sighs. Finally, his shoulders drop, but something tells me they are far fromrelaxed.
“Aubrey, I don’t really think this is the place for you to hear about it. I don’t want you getting the wrongidea.”
I step back, turn, and walk away. Eyes down, I head straight for the doors. Once I’m outside, I walk another twenty feet until I reach a little wooden bench. I sit, tipping my head back, and stare at the teardrop shaped leaves. My heart hammers in mychest.
The air beside me swirls, the bench croaks in protest, and I don’t have to look to see if it’s him. Staring up at the pieces of navy blue sky filtering through the leaves, I say “Tell me what you’re keeping toyourself.”
Now I look at him. He’s rubbing his hands over his face. When he’s done, he drops them to his knees. “They want me for thisjob—”
My exhale is angry. “I knew it.” I shake my head and look away. This was a mistake. Getting close to Isaac was a mistake. A giant, horrible, life-altering mistake. Not just for me. For my daughtertoo.
“Aubrey, calm down. You haven’t let mefinish.”
Does he even need to? I can fill in the words for him. “You’re going to tell me what a big step up this would be in your career. What an honor it is to be asked to join theteam.”
“Both of those things are true,but—”
I’m on my feet, furious. With him. With myself. I’m anidiot.
Fool me twice, shame onme.
I whip around. My shaky finger points down at his shocked face. “This is what happens when you love people.Theyleave.”
Isaac stands quickly, knocking me off balance. He grabs my arms above each elbow, catching me. He’s in my face, and the shadows make it so that I can barely see his features. His nose presses tomine.
“I turned it down,Aubrey.”
Turned itdown.
Turned. It.Down.
The words penetrate, and my anger slides away. What replaces it is no better. “For Claire?” My voice is tiny.For me, I think.Say you did it forme.
“Yes,” he breathes. And although I love how much he loves our daughter, there was a part of me that thought maybe he loved me too. But that was foolish. Isaac and I are a collection of hours. And the very best one was the first hour we spenttogether.
“I understand,” I whisper. And I do. I reallydo.
I try to smile, but it feels funny on my face, and I’m certain it looks even more painful tohim.
“Aubrey, why aren’t youhappier?”
The tears show up out of nowhere, and it’s mortifying. I hate crying. I just have to hope the darkness from the tree keeps themhidden.
“I’m very happy. Claire would be devastated if you moved away.” And me too. But I don’t say that. Especially notnow.
“And you?” Isaac tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. “Would you miss me too? Or would you—” He stops. His hands have come to my face, and my tears have been discovered. “Are you crying?” He pulls me away from the tree so I’m facing the faint light from the building. His big brown eyes pour into mine. “Aubrey, what’swrong?”
