“Nothing,” I shake my head. “It’sstupid.”
“Tell me.” His fingers flick the tears off my face, and now there are new ones to replace those and I’m so embarrassed I wish I could run away, but that would only make thisworse.
“I’m very happy you’re sticking around for Claire.” I smile through the taste of salt on my lips. “It’s important. A girl’s dad should be her hero.” That’s something I know allabout.
“I agree. But it’s not only Claire I’m staying herefor.”
My breath catches. “No?”
One side of his mouth turns up. He shakes his head. “I met this woman once, a long time ago. For a while I thought maybe she was just a figment of my imagination. An hour of time I made up. But then one day she appeared out of nowhere. She came, and she brought more than just herself. A piece of me was with her. She’d kept it safe for all those years we were apart.” His hand slides to the back of my neck, where his fingers curl through my hair. “She brought me a hand that needs holding. A heart that needs to be loved. And a body that needs to be touched. And I want to do all those things for her.Forever.”
He leans further toward me, softly kissing the corner of my lips. My exhale is thick. I turn my head, crushing his lips with my own. I’ve heard his words. Like a spear, they’ve sliced through layers of hurts, past the lies I’ve told myself, and reached theirtarget.
He grabs my waist, pulling me against him. I feel his need, his desire, hislove.We fit together. There have never been two bodies more meant to become one. Which makes this so much morepainful.
Isaac cannot fix me. I am not a body with a broken bone. Tools cannot mendme.
My reaction when I thought he was going to take that job… It tells me just what I’ve been too blind to see. For years I’ve been living with a battered and bloodied Band-Aid over my heart, ignoring the pain and hoping the decrepit bandage would keep the pieces together. But it’s not my heart that’s theproblem.
I’m a soul with awound.
And that wound needs to be healed. It needs to be loved, and cared for, and given the attention it has long beenneglected.
I push Isaac away. It takes all the strength I have. I could stay in his arms, and let it happen. It would be soeasy.
But I can’t. If I know anything about old wounds, it’s that they do not go away. They fester and resurface until their infection is systemic. I have to stop that from happening. If Isaac and I can have a future, I have to confront my past. Claire and Isaac deservethat.
“Isaac,” I say, the tears dripping from my chin, “I need to go. I need to see…her.”
He reaches for me, but there’s already too much space between us. “I’ll come withyou.”
“No,” I shake my head, taking another step back. “I need to do thisalone.”
“You’re not alone anymore, Aubrey. Let me be there for you. Let me take care ofyou.”
“I’m fine,” I say out of habit. My fingers hit my lips as I realize what I’vesaid.
Isaac’s eyes challengeme.
“Give Claire a kiss for me.” I choke out the words. “I’ll see you bothsoon.”
“You’re goingnow?”
I’ve been suffering from this wound for eighteen years, but suddenly waiting even one more second to heal it seemsinconceivable.
“I can't stand it anymore, Isaac. I have to figure this out. I have to endit.”
There’s a future for me and Isaac. A family. I want to move forward. Which means first I have to goback.
On quick feet I walk away, and I don’t pause until I’m far away, until I’m certain he hasn’t followedme.
A brick wall catches me, and I sag against it. I suck in deep breaths of air until I think I’m more or lesscoherent.
When I’m certain I can speak, I get out my phone and press abutton.
“Hi. I need aride.”
“Thanks,”I say to the driver, sliding out of the backseat. He’s old and he looks unhappy. I feel bad that he’s out driving people around on a Saturday night. He looks like he should be in a recliner reading anewspaper.
