I watch him go, then undress and turn on thewater.
The hot spray hits my skin, pushing the salty sweat off my body. My hands go through the motion of my shower routine, but my mind thinks only ofIsaac.
I made him sad. His disappointed eyes stare at me in mymemory.
Isaac the fixer wanted to make my bad situation better. But why would I let him when I could do itmyself?
Why didn’t she call?
Why didn’t she ask forhelp?
Of all the things about Aubrey, this is what scares me the most. Her total self-reliance.
I don’t want to own her. I don’t want to controlher.
But I do want her to needme.
IthinkI’m back in his goodgraces.
Or maybe, since his mom is here, he’s not letting on how mad he is atme.
“You look lovely.” Lucia smiles at me as her gaze continues down. She makes a face when she sees myhands.
Despite my best efforts, I haven't been able to clean all the grease from under my nails. I glance at Isaac, who’s sitting on the couch next to Claire. He locks eyes with me, then looksaway.
Maybe I’m not back in those good graces quiteyet.
“I wasn’t able to make my manicure appointment today.” I dig at my thumb nail, like somehow that will work when soaphasn’t.
Lucia laughs. “So instead you rubbed your hands on atire?”
I laugh too, making it a point not to look at Isaac again. “Something likethat.”
She takes my hands, studying them. “Do you have a dark red nail polish? I think you could just paint them yourself, and it would be much harder to see thegrease.”
“Good idea.” I hold out my hand to Claire, still not looking at Isaac. I hate that I’ve upset him. It’s even more frustrating that I don’t understand how. “Come get dressed for bed, then Mommy and Daddy willleave.”
After Claire’s dressed, she watches me paint my nails. When she starts her electronic toothbrush, I head for the living room to find the shoes I dropped beside the couchearlier.
I’m still in the hallway when I hear Isaac and his mom. Their voices are soft. Eavesdropping is wrong, but I can’t helpit.
“It’s not that, Mom.” Isaac says. “I’m proud she can change a tire. I really don’t know if I could. I’m sure I could figure it out, but...” He sighs. “She didn’t call me. She didn't eventhinkto call me. Not for one second did she think she neededhelp.”
“Maybe she didn’t.” Lucia says. I detect a bit of pride in her voice. And it makes me proud to know I’ve made herproud.
“It’s not about that, either.” Isaac argues. “Her willingness to go it alone bothers me. She’s not alone anymore. I’m here. She has me. We’re…” His voice trailsoff.
“You’re what?” Luciaasks.
Yes, Isaac, what arewe?
“Mommy, why are you standing there?” Claire says to my back. I jump andturn.
I’m about to shush her when I realize I’ve already been outed. I take Claire’s hand and walk out, my facered.
Isaac looks at me with narrowed eyes, but a smile tugs at one corner of hismouth.
Lucia’s lips press together like she wants tolaugh.
