Her words hit me straight in the heart, and I wanted to ask her more about what had happened with Devon. It was obvious it was weighing heavily on her. But just as I was about to broach the subject, Maxx came out of my bedroom. He stood out in the hallway and watched us uncertainly.
Renee looked up at him, her face unreadable. She got to her feet. “I hope you know what you’re doing, Aubrey. I don’t want to watch you fall apart all over again,” she said firmly before walking past Maxx and into her bedroom, the door closing with a slam.
“I’m guessing that didn’t go as well as you’d hoped,” Maxx deduced, coming into the living room and sitting beside me on the couch.
“I have a feeling that had to do more with her than with me. But she’s right about one thing, Maxx. I won’t fall apart over you again. I can’t let myself. You’ve ruined me once already.”
Maxx pulled me in close, his arms wrapping around me, his forehead resting against my neck.
“Losing you almost killed me, Aubrey. I won’t willingly go through that pain ever again. I can promise you that,” he murmured before kissing me softly but thoroughly.
His words rang in my head, not entirely assuaging the anxiety in my gut.
I won’t willingly go through that pain ever again.
One thing I had learned from Maxx was that when it came to his addiction, nothing waswilling.It was always beyond hiscontrol.
“Can I see you later?” Maxx’s voice was like velvet in my ear. I gripped my phone tightly in my hand. I wanted to see Maxx. So much. But there were things I had to do first.
Namely, talk to Brooks.
I hadn’t seen my friend in a week. His schedule was hectic, and it had given me time to think about how I would give him the news about Maxx and me.
So when Brooks had called last night and asked to hang out, I knew I couldn’t put him off. I wouldn’t avoid him, and I wouldn’t keep secrets. That’s what the old Aubrey would have done.
I had agreed that we could get together, feeling empowered by the need to be honest. Things with Renee were strained, and I only hoped Brooks would be more understanding. I couldn’t expect him to be okay with my decision to give Maxx another chance; I only hoped our friendship was stronger than his disapproval.
“I can’t tonight. I told Brooks we’d hang out.”
“That’s fine, I’m wiped anyway. I’m still trying to find another job now that the stable doesn’t need me anymore. I really wish I could find something that didn’t involve animal shit or fry grease,” he said, sounding a little defeated.
Maxx never complained about money, but I knew he was stressed about it. I knew he was barely getting by, but I didn’t know how to help him.
I hated to admit that I wondered whether he would go back to the club. Whether he would slide back into a world of quick cash and easy drugs.
I wanted to trust that he wouldn’t. He had sworn that was behind him. But that was what he knew. And I worried when I saw the tension on his face as a result of his struggles. And then I hated myself for worrying.
“You’ll find something,” I said brightly, though I, too, wondered what his possibilities were.
“Yeah, I just hope it’s sooner rather than later,” Maxx muttered, and I could hear his exhausted sigh.
“Have you thought about calling around to other galleries tosee if they’d be interested in seeing some of your work?” I suggested.
Maxx had told me about Mr. Randall at the Bellview Gallery in town. I knew it was embarrassing to admit how much he had messed up such a great opportunity.
“Yeah, I don’t think that’s such a great idea,” Maxx said shortly.
“But you’re so talented—”
“Aubrey, please, just drop it.” His voice sharpened, and I knew it was a touchy subject.
“Have you called to set up your intake for counseling at the addictions center?” I asked, bringing up yet another topic I knew he was uncomfortable talking about. Maxx had mentioned that he was supposed to follow an outpatient treatment plan after his stint in rehab. It was a condition of his probation, now that he was no longer attending the group on campus.
“Not yet. I’ll do that tomorrow,” Maxx said, sounding testy.
“It’s important, Maxx,” I told him, not backing off, though trying not to sound like a self-important nag either.
“Yeah, well, so is finding a job so that I don’t end up homeless,” he snapped, and I tried not to get pissed by his attitude.
